


Your Cat Is Fine

by iwouldkillfor



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Assassin Joel, Assassins & Hitmen, Gen, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6128899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwouldkillfor/pseuds/iwouldkillfor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam had hoped for a greeting from Solaire when he'd come home after cutting his trip short.</p><p>Not the cold barrel of a gun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> smol tiny thing!

Adam unlocked his apartment and stumbles inside, letting his duffel bag clatter to the floor loudly, neighbors be damned. He quickly shut the door behind him, should Solaire be in an adventurous mood. He did not want to chase his cat around all night.

“Solaire?” he called quietly, stumbling through the apartment feeling just about ready to simply drop into his bed and sleep for days. He shrugged out of his jacket and it fell in a heap on the floor. He continued on to the living room, and that was when he froze.

What the hell was a sniper rifle doing in his living room?!

“Don’t move,” a voice said, and Adam felt something cold and steely against the back of his head.

Oh God this was not happening!

“If you scream, I will shoot you. If you try to run, I will shoot you. If you attack me, I will shoot you.”

Adam almost snorted; as if he would attack the armed and dangerous assassin in his apartment. The voice belonged to a man, and Adam almost didn’t want to look. He wished he could just close his eyes, let the madman do whatever he wanted, and then wake up in the morning with his cat and his normal life.

He cleared his throat and the gun shifted slightly, “Where’s Solaire?” His voice was tiny and brittle but he had to know if he should expect to find a dead cat and just start grieving now.

“The cat is in the bedroom with food, water, and the litterbox.”

Wait, what?

“Go sit in the couch,” the man demanded and Adam didn’t question it. The couch was right beside the window the sniper rifle was leaning against and Adam supposed the man wanted to be able to keep an eye on his while he worked. A shiver ran up his spine as he turned around and stumbled backwards into the seat, taking in the man’s appearance.

He was a tall man, though not as tall as Adam, and he was on the skinnier side. He had a mop of black hair on his head and his eyes were dark brown and watching every move Adam made. He wore a hoodie that was clearly too big for him and baggy jeans. The handgun had a silencer attached to the muzzle and Adam really hoped he wasn’t going to be killed because he’d seen the guy’s face. The guy was left-handed.

“If you want, I can let the cat out?” the assassin suggested and Adam blinked.

“You… you’d let my cat out?” he asked, not bothering to hide his skepticism.

The assassin shrugged, “Well, I mean it’s been in there all evening because I had to concentrate on my work, but now that you’re here, you could entertain it.”

“Um, sure?” Adam wasn’t sure this wasn’t a test, but as soon as the word was said, the assassin put the gun into the back of his jeans and went towards the bedroom. He opened the door and Solaire peeked curiously at the stranger, though it was clear the cat had seen the man before. “Solaire?” Adam called quietly. The cat meowed and sprinted into the living room and into Adam’s arms.

“It’s a nice cat,” the assassin said, returning to the window with the sniper rifle.

“You have pets?”

Adam honestly didn’t know why he asked that. Was he expecting an answer? Really, Adam?

“I don’t like the responsibility. And when you’re in my line of work, pets rarely work out. But I like them,” the assassin said, picking up a pair of binoculars and gazing out the window. Adam nodded to himself. He could understand that with the kind of work the guy did, keeping a pet would be difficult.

“I’m Adam.”

“I know.”

“Can I at least have something I could call you? If you’re going to be here for a while anyway.”

The assassin looked confused by the question, but after a few moments of silent debate he replied, “You can call me Joel.”

Huh. Joel. Was Adam just setting himself up for being murder? He’d seen the guy’s face, heard his voice, and now he had a name. Of course there was no way of determining if it was the guy’s real name, but he wouldn’t be hard to pick out in a police photo album.

Adam petted Solaire’s back, “I guess I can’t really say it’s nice to meet you, Joel.”

“I guess you can’t,” Joel nodded, and he tossed the binoculars to the table on the left and he picked up the sniper rifle. Adam’s gut turned to ice and his hold on Solaire tightened. Joel had to turn his back to him in order to properly aim the rifle and Adam pressed his lips together. The handgun in the back of Joel’s pants glinted in the moonlight, but Adam had never fired a gun and if Joel was faster, then he was dead. Adam didn’t try and as Joel lowered the rifle again without having fired a shot, Adam knew it had been a test.

“That was the weirdest trust exercise I’ve ever been a part of,” Adam blurted.

Joel laughed quietly and suddenly Adam felt closer to the guy. He’d cracked a joke and the assassin had laughed. Surely that was progress in some way. Solaire purred and jumped from Adam’s lap, moving to rub against Joel’s leg. Joel reached down and scratched the cat behind the ear, before reaching for the binoculars on the table and he began surveying the area once more.

“Who’re you looking for?” Adam asked, hoping the question wasn’t a step too far.

“You’re better off not knowing,” Joel replied, his tone a little colder than before.

Adam felt like a berated child, “Sorry.”

“In my line of work, you don’t ask too many questions,” Joel amended. His dark eyes then caught something outside the window and all sense of calm and collected went out the window as he raised the rifle one more time, “Don’t speak now. I will murder you if you ruin this for me.”

Adam silently zipped his mouth shut and waited for Joel to do what he needed to do.

A single shot was fired and it was surprisingly quiet. Adam had expected a lot more noise but he jumped anyway and Solaire growled in displeasure. Joel lowered the rifle and kneeled down, disassembling the weapon with practiced ease out of sight from outside viewers.

“Are you done?” Adam asked, voice shaking slightly and he slapped himself for sounding so nervous. Then again, he’d just watched an assassing murder someone, he was allowed to be a little on edge.

Joel nodded tightly, “It’s done. I’ll be out of your hair in five.”

“No need to hurry. It’s not like I need to be somewhere,” Adam heard himself say.

Joel looked up, blinking a bit in surprise, “I wouldn’t think you want a wanted man in your apartment longer than necessary.”

“You haven’t actually done anything to hurt me, or my cat, so I’m not too concerned.”

Joel raised his eyebrows, then returned to packing down his gear in smooth movements. As the suitcase clicked shut, Joel shot Adam a look, “Can I have some water?”

“Sure,” Adam stood and without thinking about it he handed Solaire to the assassin. Joel startled a bit as the ball of fur was deposited in his arms, but as soon as Adam determined the guy wouldn’t drop his cat, he went for the kitchen without giving it more thought. He opened the fridge, “Are you sure you don’t want a beer?”

“I don’t drink on the job,” Joel said, standing in the doorway to the kitchen with Solaire still in his arms, held against his chest.

“Well, technically your job’s done, right?” Adam picked up the can and held it out.

“Haven’t you ever heard of stranger danger?” Joel asked, taking the can whilst repositioning Solaire on his right hand.

Adam shrugged, “Meh, if you wanted me dead you’d probably have killed me already.”

Adam took a swig of beer and watched Joel’s eyes narrow over the edge of the can. Joel eventually nodded and took a sip, “You’re not wrong.”

“I mean I wouldn’t call us friends, more like, reluctant acquaintances with no hard feelings,” Adam said and Joel laughed.

Oh yeah, Adam was going to live.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been weeks since the incident with the assassin.

Adam blinked at the sentence he'd just constructed in his head, shivering at the memory. That had happened. An assassin - with guns and everything - had stayed at his apartment to kill someone. Holy shit!

He was out shopping for cat food when he received the text.

_Where do you keep your first aid stuff?_

Adam frowned, not recognizing the number.

_Um, I think you have the wrong number?_

He pocketed his phone and managed two steps before the device buzzed again.

_Adam Ellis, where do you keep your first aid stuff?_

What the fuck? He looked around to check for Rooster Teeth employees. If this was some sick prank, or part of a new segment he was not enjoying it. He spotted no one, and hesitantly typed back.

_In the cabinet besides the sink in the bathroom.. who's this??_

He was standing stock still in the middle of the aisle, goosebumps running up his back.

_Joel_

Ah, fuck it. The assassin was back. He quickly paid for the cat food and hurried home. The door looked untouched, but he spotted a small splotch of blood on the edge of the silver handle and he swallowed before opening the door. He dumped the cat food on the counter to the left before he poked around the corner to peek into the living room. Joel was sitting on couch with a gun raised and ready for action. Then Joel saw who it was and lowered it again, letting out a breath. Adam slowly moved closer, and he saw the large red stain on the right side of Joel's shirt.

"What happened?" Adam asked, glancing at the mess of first aid equipment that had been spread out on the table.

Joel had gotten his hands on a needle and thread, "Gunshot grazed my side. Can't go to the hospital and your place was closer than mine."

Adam blinked, "Uh, want a hand?"

"I've done this before," Joel declined the offer but Adam frowned.

"Are you sure? 'Cause I can easily-"

"Shut up, Adam. Just because you gave me beer and didn't call the cops on me, it doesn't mean we're friends. If you become an inconvenience to me, I will kill you," Joel's tone was hard and closed off.

Adam backed off, "Alright, I'll just go feed my cat, I guess."

Joel hummed and Adam turned away. If the assassin was going to be an ass about it, then he might as well just return to doing something beneficial. Solaire was sitting patiently by his empty bowl, almost silently judging him with his eyes. Adam rolled his eyes; what had he been thinking really? Friends with a guy who killed people for money? Insanity.

Still.

"You don't have to be a bitch about it, you know."

What the fuck? What was he thinking? Insulting the guy with the deadly expertise? Well, the guy was wounded, and Adam was pretty sure verbal jabs wasn't the same as 'being an inconvenience'.

Joel didn't grace him with a reply and Adam poured the food before returning to the living room. Joel looked like he was halfway done with sewing the wound shut and Adam had to suppress a shudder; it looked fucking gross. Okay, do something to take your mind off it.

He turned on his X-box.

Joel looked up at the humming sound, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to play Call of Duty, because that shit there is super nasty."

"Which one?"

The question surprised him, "Which Call of Duty game? Black Ops II."

"Good game," Joel commented.

"You game?"

"What, you think I just kill people left and right when I'm bored?"

Adam shrugged, "I haven't really given it any thought. But seriously, you're a gamer?"

"I mostly just play Minecraft. It keeps me occupied."

"Minecraft is pretty great, but have you ever played Terraria?"

Joel tied the final knot and reached for the small pair of scissors, "No, I stick to Minecraft and Halo. Minecraft because I'm obsessed with building shit and Halo because it was one of the first games I ever played."

"Building shit is pretty fun."

"I'm legit obsessed. I can't- I mean, I need the things I build to be perfect, so, like- I'm pretty sure I've broken more blocks than any other gamer on the planet. For real," Joel said, putting a bandage over the patched up wound. His shirt was still destroyed however.

"Want to borrow a shirt or something?" Adam asked.

Joel had started packing up the first aid kit, "Uh, sure?"

Adam finished logging into X-box Live and went to his bedroom. Rifling through his drawers he fished out a dark blue long-sleeve he never wore. Joel could even keep it if he wanted. Why was he telling himself that the assassin could keep his clothes? This was a weird day.

Adam returned to the living-room and lobbed the shirt at the wounded killer-for-hire. Joel winced as he instinctively raised both hands to catch it before it hit him in the face. He groaned and bent forward, protecting his side and Adam felt a twinge of guilt. "Sorry," Adam grumbled.

Joel struggled to get his arms out of his ruined shirt and Adam didn't think much of it when he started to help removing the shirt. Then he was standing with the bloody shirt and a half-naked murderer peering up at him like a lost puppy and- oh dear.

"Why are you taking off my clothes?" Joel asked pointedly.

Oh, you piece of shit.

"You looked like you needed help," Adam said, not really defensively, but as he tossed the trashed shirt on the floor and picked up the clean shirt from Joel's lap he realized that maybe his intentions weren't as pure as he had hoped. But Joel was looking at him way too innocently and Adam was certain the assassin was fucking with him. "Arms up," Adam ordered, talking slowly, like one would to a child.

Joel pouted but put his arms up and the shirt was put on without issues. Joel put his arms down and winced again, pressing his palm over the recently closed up gunshot wound. Adam reclined in the couch and picked up his controller again, "So, how long are you staying this time?"

"Not long. Have to clean the door before I leave," Joel muttered.

Adam nodded, fishing out a second controller from beneath the coffee table. He handed it to Joel without looking and started up the Call of Duty game. Joel took the controller and without words they started up a game of 2-player Zombie-mode.

After 4 minutes of gameplay, Adam hoped - for the sake of Joel's career - that the other was a better shot in real life than he was in first person shooters. "How many details can I ask for before you have to kill me?" Adam asked, not taking his eyes of the screen. He'd just picked Joel up for the second time.

Joel shrugged, "You can ask whatever you want, but... Like, it's not a secret that I'm a Virgo, but when you start asking stuff about my career, you should expect little to no information."

"I'm a Gemini. How much do you take for a job?"

"Depends on the job and my target."

"Like, killing me?"

"You? Like, maybe 3 grand, depending on why I'm killing you and how my employers wants the job done."

"That's a very honest answer."

"If I have to dispose of your body as well, I usually add another thousand. I'm down."

"Fuck- again?! God damn it, okay, I'm coming to pick you up," Adam rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes the ones ordering the hit has their own clean-up team ready, so it's very rare that I literally get blood on my hands," Joel said, trying to kill zombies with a handgun from his prone position. They were on wave 6, so the chances of actually killing zombies with a simple handgun were slim to none. Then Adam was intercepted by a zombie on fire and the thing exploded in his face and fuck it, they were both dead.

Adam groaned as the tell-tale howl of laughter aired in the room and Joel shot Adam a mock-disappointed look. "Nice, Adam," Joel smirked and Adam slapped the assassin's shoulder.

Joel hissed and kicked Adam's shin.

Adam jumped away, "Ow, you motherfucker!"

"I've been shot and you punched me!"

"It was a playful slap!"

"Playful my ass! You son of a bitch!"

"Oh, what are you going to do? Shoot me?"

Joel scowled, "I could. And I'd make sure no one would ever know."

Adam gasped, "You'd leave my cat fatherless?"

Joel paused, looking to the cat that had begun lounging on one of the platforms on the cat tree next to the television. "You have a point," he conceded.

"Look, speaking of things we weren't speaking of; do you want chinese? I'm really hungry and if you want something..." Adam let the offer hang, watching as Joel pondered almost audibly.

Finally the assassin nodded, "Sure, if you're buying."

Adam snorted, "Just this once."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new computer, new chapter of assassin!joel pre-joellis... maybe i should turn this into a multi-chapter thing with plot and stuff... thoughts?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel does some internal debating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised "Omuchgeekery" to fill their prompt in the next chapter, but my head took my beginning in a different direction than I had planned. I will work your suggestion into the next chapter though, sorry!

Joel could not get rid of Adam.

Friends were bad for business, Joel knew that, but Adam was different. Adam knew and wasn't freaked out. Adam knew and had still played games with him. Adam knew and Joel hadn't had a friend in a while. It was tempting.

He didn't want to kill Adam - unless of course he'd get paid for it, but even then, Joel knew he would hesitate before pulling the trigger. Friends were bad for business, especially in a world where no one could be trusted but yourself.

But Joel trusted Adam.

Somewhat.

He trusted Adam as much as someone like him could trust anyone.

The cat didn't help him; it was tiny, adorable, and fluffy. And it cuddled a lot.

Joel sighed and leaned back. He really shouldn't be thinking about this right now; he had a job to do. He was only getting 21 grand. 20 for the hit and another one grand for cleaning up the mess. This one had to disappear completely. Joel didn't mind getting his hands dirty, but it was time consuming and he was hungry and his mark was working late apparently.

He was usually checking stocks while he waited, but tonight it was Adam who occupied his head. It was annoying. But it gave him a break from worrying about everything and nothing. He already had his knife out, twirling it absentmindedly in his hand while breathing steadily. 

Nothing could spook him, and no one ever got ahead of him.

Joel was meticulous.

Adam was chaotic.

And they were friends?

The door unlocked and Joel snapped back to reality, grasping the knife firmly with his long fingers. He knew Michael 'Burnie' Burns was a big guy, but Joel had the moment of surprise, and technique on his side. He waited for Burns to shut and lock the door before he crept forward. Burns entered the living room and dumped his jacket on the floor, then made it a few steps before a loud buzzing interrupted the silence. Joel froze. Burns' phone was in his jacket on the floor. Burns turned and audibly choked on air. Joel wasn't scowling, but he didn't doubt it was terrifying to have a stranger with a knife waiting for you inside your house. He quickly pulled out his handgun from the back of his jeans and aimed at Burns' chest. He didn't want to shoot him, because that would make a lot of fucking noise.

"If you scream, I will make you scream," Joel growled. He needed Burns to be quiet.

Burns was hyperventilating, trying to swallow and his eyes flickered to the phone, the door and back to Joel. Burns' voice was shaking, "Wh-what do you want?"

"I was trying to kill you quietly, painlessly. Now I'm deciding if I should let you look at your phone first," Joel replied. That was one of the things he tried to maintain; being honest with his marks before their deaths. As long as the marks were honest with Joel of course.

Burns sniffed, "Um, could I... I mean, could I look at my phone?"

Joel tilted his head, watching Burns. He doubted the man had a concealed weapon in his jacket. But he needed to make sure he could see the screen. Joel kept his eyes on Burns as he bent down and retrieved the phone. He powered up the screen to check the notification, "You have a text."

"From who?" Burns asked.

Joel didn't wear glasses, but he couldn't deny that he probably would need to get some contacts in a few years. "GilbyRanger," he read.

"What's he saying?"

"It's a smiley face."

"What kind of smiley face-"

"You know that I'm going to kill you no matter how long you drag this out, right?"

"Yeah, but, like, is it a smiley face with the tongue sticking out or..?"

Joel blinked, "Is that really important- fuck it, it's a smiley face but it's one of those with the eyes squinted." He turned the phone and let Burns inch closer to look at the smiley.

Burns nodded, "Right, thank you."

"Is GilbyRanger a screen name?" Joel asked.

"Yeah, it's like- his name is Adam and- you won't kill him, right?" Burns asked.

Joel sighed, this was taking way too long, "Sure. If he's not on my list-"

Wait a moment. Adam?

"Adam Ellis?"

Burns nodded distractedly, "Right-"

Adam.

Fuck.

"Could you- I'll tell you- Actually, can I text him back? I need to get something off my chest-"

"Shut up!" Joel snapped. He officially hated this situation, "How do you know Adam Ellis?"

"How do I kno- wait, how do you know him?" Burns was gaining confidence and Joel tightened his grip on the handgun, aiming it higher - somewhere between Burns' eyes - and Burns backed down slightly.

"Answer my question, and I might not kill you," Joel said calmly.

"He's my- I work with him. Well, technically he works for me," Burns said, eying the gun and Joel pressed his lips together. Why? Why did it have to be someone related to Adam? That fucking idiot was causing him trouble in his work literally weeks after meeting him. For fuck's sake, what were the odds?

Joel debated the dilemma internally; to kill Adam's boss, or lose 21 thousand and damage his reputation? A lot of money was on the line, and Joel didn't want to end up being unemployable because his reputation would get tarnished.

But Adam. And the cat.

Fuck it.

"Burns, get your jacket off the floor," he commanded. Burns reached down and retrieved the garment, and Joel tossed the cell phone. Burns awkwardly caught it and Joel gestured with the gun, "We're going for a drive."

"Am I going to get shot in the back?" Burns asked, voice small.

Joel smiled, "Nah, I have better control with the knife, and if I'm going to kill you, you're going to see me coming. I'd never shoot a defenseless man in the back, even if he's my mark."

Burns wasn't comforted and he slung on the jacket, "Are you going to chop my body into tiny pieces?"

"Haven't decided yet," Joel said casually. "Tiny pieces are time-consuming."

"Reassuring," Burns muttered and they exited the apartment. Joel's supplies were still in his car and fuck it if he was leaving it here, so he guided Burns to his car. Burns seemed surprised, "You drive a Porsche?"

"Don't ask stupid questions. Get in," Joel kept his responses and orders short. He had to get some clarification, and he was going to get it no matter if Burns wanted to cooperate or not. Burns opened the passenger seat door and sat down. Joel put his knife back in the holster on his thigh, and walked back to the trunk and retrieved a pair of handcuffs. He walked up to Burns' side and let them dangle in front of Burns face, "Put them on."

"Um..."

"I can't have you hands-free in my car while I'm driving," Joel cut through Burns' doubts cleanly.

Burns' hands were shaking and Joel rolled his eyes. He didn't have time for jumpy; his employer would be calling him any minute to check the job was done. Instead he put the gun away in the back of his jeans and grabbed the cuffs, slapping them on Burns' wrists, then shoving the man inside the car before shutting the door. He walked around and got in the driver's seat, powering up the car with a purr.

Burns was still shaking, "Where are you t-taking me?"

"Somewhere I can make a decision," Joel offered.

The drive to Adam's place was quick and quiet. Burns' barely breathed, he was so nervous and Joel almost took pity on him. Almost. He parked the car and Burns peeked out the window, "We're... at Adam's?"

Joel could have laughed at the way Burns' voice went up an octave. But he didn't, and instead he got Burns' out of the car with a gesture of his gun, and went up to the door buzzer, pressing on Adam's name.

It took a while, but eventually Adam's groggy voice grumbled, "Yeah?"

"Adam, let me in," Joel said.

Adam groaned and to Burns' horror, the door opened. Joel guided Burns' inside and up the stairs, never once putting a hand on him, but the gun was more than enough incentive for Burns.

Adam opened the door as they approached, already turning away with a yawn, "If you got shot again, the first aid's where you left it."

"Adam, please, I'm working," Joel said smoothly and Burns let out a small squeak.

Adam turned and he did a double take, "You- I- What the- Fucking what the fuck, Joel?!"

"Please don't shout, Adam," Joel replied, shoving Burns inside with the muzzle of the gun. Burns stumbled forward and Joel shut the door behind them. "Go to the living room, both of you," he commanded.

Adam wore a hurt expression and Joel hated it.

When they were all three in the living room Adam swallowed audibly, "You're going to shoot my boss?"

"Well, I'm still considering it. I was paid for a quiet hit, so ideally I wouldn't shoot him," Joel rattled off, lowering the gun to his side. "But now, you see- this is where you come in. You're a problem, Adam," Joel snapped.

This was fucking frustrating.

"What did I do?" Adam asked indignantly.

"We met. And now I have to fucking consult you before I kill my mark!" Joel felt like throwing something, but he didn't want to ruin Adam's apartment. Also - "Where's the cat?"

"What's Solaire got to do with it?" Adam asked.

"Nothing, just wondering. Anyway, Adam, I told you if you became an inconvenience to me, I'd have to kill you," Joel complained. "See, you're hindering me in doing my job!" Joel gestured to Burns again, and the mark flinched. "Because, like, we're friends, right? But killing Burns would make you sad, so, like- I don't want to," Joel was only having a lot of difficulty explaining.

"You two are friends?" Burns whispered.

"Please don't kill Burnie," Adam started but Joel cut him off.

"See? You don't understand! You can't just say 'please', and make me all, 'well I guess I can't do my job because my friend asked me to', that- that's not what's happening and I- I have to- I'm not my own boss. Entirely. I work for people. I get in trouble with this shit, Adam," Joel was ranting and doubtfully making any sort of sense. Joel groaned and rolled his eyes, "Can Burns' keep the secret?"

"What, that you're an assassin?" Adam was thrown a little by the sudden question.

Joel nodded, "Can he keep his mouth shut?"

"I'm right here-"

"Don't start arguing with the guy who's been hired to kill you," Joel glared. He turned to Adam, "Do you trust him to be quiet? Because if I'm blowing my employer off, I'm going to have to kill them- and that's just going to take fucking forever, but I gotta do it fast to make sure they don't hire someone else, and I have to make sure Burns stays alive- and- and-"

"Joel, I trust Burnie can shut up."

Joel paused and Solaire rubbed against his ankle.

Fuck it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started my exams at school (actually already been to three and my fourth is this monday, then three or four more left and then finally done!) so this is going to be the last update in a couple of days, maybe weeks so i hope you enjoy! :)

Killing people had never been a question about what's right or wrong. It had been a question about surviving in an environment that didn't really see you as a person, but more like a object, and then accepting that being a tool was all you were ever going to be so you might as well get paid for it. If you're good at something, never do it for free.

And Joel was good.

Being an orphan had never bothered him. He didn't need to know his parents to know that he was tall, had brown eyes and dark brown hair. He didn't need to know if he looked more like one side of the family or the other. The only family he had were the people he'd been raised by, who had always been very quick to remind him that he was not a person anyone would miss, and that they were the only ones who really cared for him. So don't piss them off.

So Joel turned into a good tool. He was only worth the amount that someone would pay for him. Some days that felt good. Most days he didn't feel anything. Less emotions meant less complications.

Like Adam.

Adam was a huge fucking complication.

Too many emotions and fucking cat hairs on his clothes.

Thank fuck he wasn't allergic.

He was wrapping up the remaining bits of his latest hit and texted the client to send in the clean up crew. He wasn't spending the rest of the night with bleach fumes and bowls of baking soda, just for a measly 12K hit. He poured good few ounces of bleach into the body bag, then duct taped the edges and deposited the body bag in the bathroom tub. He looked at himself in the mirror.

He looked tired. 

At least he hadn't gotten blood on his clothes.

His stomach growled.

He groaned and moved to the mark's kitchen. The guy simply had to have something, right? Opening the fridge his face fell and he could have kicked something; this guy was a fucking vegan, organic, nightmare. Nothing against vegans, but Joel could not fucking eat this. He needed something deep fried or soaked in chocolate sauce - or both. He pouted and his phone pinged. A verification text from the client. 10 minutes until the clean-up crew showed up.

Wonderful.

Joel's stomach growled again and he checked the time. He'd spent the last few hours dismembering a person with the toughest joints ever. Ugh, taxing job and dubiously worth the pay. But work was work. And he was only worth the amount that someone would pay for him. He wasn't picky, no. He'd just name his price and people knew. They knew he wasn't fucking around. Like, this was his day job. He wasn't like those two-faced liars – professionally called Doubles – with a regular job, a wife and kids, and then a bit of dark deeds on the side when the family wasn't around. Joel was a fucking professional. A professional-

His stomach growled. Again.

Joel did not want to drive almost 45 minutes to his safe house to get food.

He looked down at his phone and exited the message, his eyes falling to Adam's name a few threads below the current one. Adam. Adam Ellis. The third person in his phonebook with an actual name. Joel was good with numbers, he never needed names. But Adam was something else. Adam wasn't a client. But... breadcrumbs were an actual thing and no one wanted to be arrested because some amateur hitman had stored their number in their phone.

But Adam had never hired him.

Adam was a friend.

If found, the police would most likely just check the number, then Adam's accounts, conclude that there was no foul play to be found and then maybe interrogate him. He hoped Adam could lie. And Burns too. Right? Damn it, he'd really messed up now.

He was getting connected. To people. People were bad, clients were good. Why was he investing so much time in someone who could eventually turn into his meal ticket? But who would hire him to kill Adam? Honestly, no one. When Joel had trailed Adam to make sure the apartment would be empty, he'd noticed that everyone around him seemed to like Adam. Even with his broad stature and his big beard, no one seemed threatened by him. He just naturally radiated of something nice. Nothing sinister about him at all.

Joel had more than a few times had people move out of his way in grocery stores because apparently it said 'serial killer' on his forehead. Was he really that scary looking? It wasn't like he was trying when he wasn't working. His height was working in his favor when he was doing jobs, and he could make himself look bigger than he actually was by using the right clothes. When he was just plain Joel though - shopping for steaks or whatever - he preferred comfy clothes. Like hoodies. Big, warm, fluffy hoodies. Sometimes people stared, because, yeah okay, it was summer in Texas, what the actual fuck? But Joel figured that people would just think he was weird and move on. It was Austin, he knew he wasn't the freakiest looking person in town. So what if he wore hoodies in summer? He didn't want people to come up and ask how he got the scars on his arms and shoulders. Being a gun for hire was dangerous work and Joel had to admit that he’d come a bit too close to death a few times. Less than five but more than two. He had a nasty scar just above his collarbone to prove it. The knife had almost reached his heart. He’d still been young, barely 23, and out on his fourth assist job. A henchman caught both him and the professional - the Over - off guard and all Joel remembered was pain and blood. He woke up a week later and was told that if something similar ever happened again he'd be left for dead. No use for assassins who couldn’t adapt to the situation and got fucking injured.

Joel’s stomach growled and this time it was painful.

A knock on the door stole his attention and he hefted up his silenced pistol before opening the front door slowly. He looked at the four men standing outside and shot them his most impatient look, “You took your time.”

The one in front raised an eyebrow and looked at his watch, “We’re, like, 2 minutes late.”

“Then I’ll be sure to add another 2 thousand to my pay. Docked from yours,” Joel said coldly.

“Hey, listen-”

“You really want to argue with me?” Joel asked, raising the gun slightly. “There’s a dead body in the bathroom that needs disposing,” he added casually, tossing his head a bit.

The apparent leader of the bunch snorted, “Fine. Let’s get to it.”

Joel opened the door and let them in, then grabbed his bag and flung the keys to the apartment at the group. One of the idiots caught it against his chest and Joel gave a mock-salute with his gloved hand, “If I don’t see money within the next 24 hours, I will consider our agreement broken and I will hunt you down.”

The leader of the clean-up crew nodded tightly and Joel left the situation. As soon as the door closed behind him, he didn’t think about the mark anymore. Job done and forgotten. No use in remembering all the peopl- marks you’ve had in the past, it never did any assassin any good.

He went down to his beloved Porsche and put the bag in the passenger seat, starting up the car and turning out to the road he’d arrived from. Now, how to get to Adam’s house from here?

He knew it was bad that he was still thinking about Adam, that he was making “friends”. But he couldn’t help it. He was hungry and going to the safe house was going to take too long. He’d rather go to a drive-thru, but he hadn’t brought cash with him today.

Ugh.

He pulled over and fished out his phone, searching for Adam’s address on the GPS. Okay, only 12 minutes away; fucking perfect. There was no traffic on the road at this hour, so it would probably go faster. The clock on his phone said 4:32 AM. It could have been worse. He quickly texted Adam.

_ETA in 10 minutes - Joel_

He tossed the phone to the top of his bag and revved up the engine. One of the perks of having this job was the freedom you had to spend your money however you liked. He'd gone freelance – become an Outer – over 10 years ago, so he didn't even pay any kind of territory tax. Unless of course a larger organisation wanted to fuck with him. But everyone knew that only the good ones went freelance. The loyal ones, the ones with bonds – the Inners – they stayed in groups and were weak. If Joel wanted he could probably pick apart 2 of the major organisations in the south, just by taking them down one by one while spreading rumors and misinformation. They'd destroy themselves quickly if they thought an Inner had betrayed them.

Joel only had one person he was loyal to. Himself. An Outer. His Over had been sure to beat that information into him. Whether you were an Under or an Over, the only one you could really trust was yourself. And never get attached to your Over. That shit never went well. Joel's Over had been a decent person, about 9 years older and with a specialty in blades. So naturally, Joel had picked up a lot of sharp objects in his time. But as soon as his Over had deemed him capable, he'd been dismissed as a fellow Over and ordered to never contact the other again unless it was for professional purposes.

His phone pinged and Joel slowed a little, to quickly flash a glance at the screen. He saw Adam's name and nodded to himself, returning his attention to the road. After the whole ordeal with Burns he'd kept his distance from Adam. He’d thought that to be best. Burns had been instructed not to leave Adam's place that night, while Joel worked, and just maybe he'd been a little pushy about it. But honestly, it was Joel who’d been forced to go underground for two days, then hunting down the man who'd hired him and the extensions of that person, to make sure that no one would ever think to hire another hitman to kill Burns. He'd been sure to leave his signature. He only did that with people who'd double crossed him, but that happened surprisingly often in this line of work and Joel had a "no tolerance"-policy. It was mostly just low priority clients who tried to fuck him over, so it was never a major loss and it never really pissed anyone off. This one client hadn’t double-crossed him though, and although he disliked lying about his work, he had to do it. It would make Burns safe and Adam happy.

After the bloody mess had been done, Joel had texted Adam to let him know he could release Burns into the wild again. He hadn't received a reply, but he figured Adam had just been busy. And he pretended he wasn't disappointed. An angry message was better than no message in Joel's opinion. And in the end, he’d kept his distance. It was for the better really. But now he was hungry and if Adam couldn’t even offer him a glass of water, then why did he have such a cute cat to lure him with? Not fair. Not fair at all.

As he pulled into the parking lot for the apartment building he noticed that the lights were on in Adam’s apartment. Great. He put his duffel bag into the trunk of his car and locked it, keeping the keys in his hands just in case some idiot mugger was looking for an easy meal ticket. Joel generally disliked physical fighting, so he made sure that if he had to throw a punch, he’d throw a punch that either killed or knocked out his attacker. He’d learned where to hit, how to hit and how not to hurt himself in a fight. That was often the problem for some people; injuring themselves while trying to fight off an assailant and subsequently giving themselves a disadvantage. Joel had learned to punch with the right kind of clenched fist, to stand so he wouldn’t topple over no matter how heavy his opponent was, and to never fight with only his hands. The first time he’d broken a man’s arm using his pelvis and arms, he’d been surprised it had actually worked. The vibration of the snap had been… addictive.

Joel pushed the button next to Adam’s name and waited. There was silence for only a few seconds, before the door was unlocked with a loud buzz and Joel pushed it open, sailing up the stairs with that weird sort of energy that came after a certain point of being awake in the middle of the night. Joel usually reached this stage at around 4 in the morning, and he was usually working when it happened. It had thrown his sleeping schedule off quite a bit at first, but after the first few years it had simply become routine. Outers often had the weirdest lives, especially if they were Doubles. So many naps. Too much coffee to be entirely healthy. But according to some Doubles it led to a very adventurous sex life.

He knocked Adam’s door and he heard a cat cry at him from the other side.

He smiled.

“It’s open,” Adam called, trying not to make too much noise since it was barely morning yet, and Joel gently entered the apartment and Solaire instantly rubbed against his ankles.

He picked up the kitty and went to the living room, “Do you have any food?”

Adam watched him hold Solaire like a small child and he raised an eyebrow, “You’re hungry?”

“What are you doing up?” Joel asked, inclining his head towards the massive set-up of cables, controllers and consoles.

“I’m streaming and it got out of hand,” Adam admitted with a shrug. Then he turned back to the tiny camera – oh shit, a fucking camera – and smiled apologetically, “Be right back guys.” He then clicked a few times with the mouse connected to the computer, then paused the game – Dark Souls III according to Joel’s glance at the screen – and then stood up, “So what’s up?”

“You’re livestreaming?” Joel asked, holding Solaire close.

“They can’t see you. I think you’re lucky if they heard you,” Adam said, moving past him and into the kitchen. Joel wasn’t happy, but he couldn’t really complain. Adam didn’t seem to resent him. That was good. “So, do I want to know what you’ve been doing all night?”

“I doubt it,” Joel said, rocking the kitty against his chest. Solaire purred and Joel almost physically felt his heart melt. But that was impossible. He didn’t have a heart. Not a heart that could feel too deeply at least.

“You’re cute.”

“What?”

“… The cat.”

Oh.

“Oh.”

“He’s a few months old now,” Adam stepped up to scratch the cat behind the ear and the creature twisted it’s back a little in satisfaction. Adam was too close. Joel stepped back and Adam laughed, “Possessive much?”

“Too close,” Joel explained and that only made Adam snort.

“I helped you out of your shirt a while back, remember?”

“I was quite helpless at the time,” Joel replied.

“Helpless. Sure. You eat pasta, right?”

Joel nodded and then Adam was forcefully trading the kitty for a pack of spaghetti. Adam smirked at him, the cat on his shoulder looking mildly confused, “You cook? I gotta go back to the stream at some point.”

Joel sighed, “I can… I can try not to burn the place down. But no promises.”

“I’ll leave Solaire as moral support. Scream if you need me,” Adam said happily, putting the cat on the floor before waltzing back to the living room and leaving Joel in a kitchen where everything looked like it was actually used on a regular basis. The kitchen at the safe house bore the same traits, but not like this. Adam’s things looked loved. The safe house stuff looked used.

Joel shrugged and started searching for a pot. He looked over his shoulder at the cat and whispered, “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Solaire meowed at him, clearly unimpressed.

“The pots are in the cupboard next to the oven,” Adam called before starting up the game again.

Joel eyed the cat, “Traitor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope it wasn't too expositional.. wanted to get some stuff down before i get started on a bigger arc :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which, a dinner and a show

Turned out Joel was actually pretty good at making spaghetti. Joel had handed him a small portion in the middle of the stream, then continued to eat out in the kitchen with Solaire. The chat had gone nuts.

Adam had laughed, “I can tell you that he’s a friend, but nothing else. He’s a private person.”

That hadn’t helped and his chat was practically spammed with more questions, ranging from innocent to absolutely filthy. Adam had ignored it and kept playing. Joel had left after about 20 minutes of eating, leaving Adam to do the dishes. He hadn’t said goodbye or anything, but Adam didn’t mind; he suspected the cameras were to blame. He didn’t sleep that night, just kept playing and when time for work came he showered and went on with his day.

Friendship with Joel was weird.

They’d known each other for a ridiculously small amount of time, and spent time together only when Joel initiated it – because, let’s face it, Adam wasn’t going to seek out an assassin who might or might not be working. Adam had already interrupted the man in his work too many times, and he didn’t want to push limits. Sure, he’d survived every disagreement they’d ever had, but they weren’t exactly friends like most people were.

What they had was special.

But when Adam spotted Joel from across the street, the dark-haired hitman for hire sitting casually at some kind of Italian place that Adam vaguely had known existed previously, but never visited, Adam was kind of surprised with himself. It was the later afternoon and the sun was still bathing the city in light and warmth.

He had picked Joel’s face out so clearly among the crowd, even with Joel wearing dark shades and a backwards ball cap. He quickly jogged across the street and approached quietly. He didn’t want to bring unnecessary attention to them. As he walked closer, Joel looked up and seemingly froze. He had his phone out, one thumb hovering over the screen and Adam skipped the last few feet, “Hi.”

Joel was silent for a long while. Adam took in the table; half a cup of coffee and nothing else.

“Can I sit down?” Adam didn’t want to break some sort of boundary.

“Sure you can.”

It wasn’t Joel who answered, but a waiter who had walked up to the table without making a sound. Adam jumped at the voice and the person it belonged to looked smug as hell. The waiter shot Joel a somewhat satisfied look and pulled out Adam’s chair, “Want something to drink, Mr..?”

“Uh-“

“He’ll have coffee,” Joel interrupted pointedly, turning his face slightly towards the waiter, who seemed to deflate a little. The smirk stayed on the waiters face, however, and the waiter sauntered off. Adam sat down and Joel raised his eyebrows at him, “Don’t give out your name to strangers.”

“He was just being friendly-“

“He was not being friendly. You don’t know this place, but I do.”

Adam frowned, “If you want me to leave, I can-“

“No, no, no, it’s- it’s fine… Just don’t talk to anyone here. They respect me, but you’re not one of us,” Joel said, gesturing subtly with his head to the room. Adam looked to the bar of the place and without trouble saw 5 pairs of eyes staring at him and Joel. Mostly at him.

Adam looked back to Joel, “Is this a… a hangout?”

Joel grimaced, “If you want to call it that.”

“I don’t know what else to call it, but like- they’re not going to drag me to the back room or anything, right?” Adam asked. The waiter was coming back, carrying a cup of steaming coffee on a silver tray. As the waiter set it down, Joel and the waiter shared a look that Adam couldn’t identify. Adam considered asking for a knife to see if he could literally cut the tension.

Then the waiter shot Adam a polite look before retreating from them.

Joel took a sip of his coffee, smiling, “As long as I’m here, they won’t touch you.”

“They’re afraid of you?”

“I’m what we professionals call a double-O, and-“

Adam snorted on his coffee and started laughing because that had to be just about the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. What the fuck, double-O’s? What the actual fuck?!

Joel’s face didn’t crack.

Adam swallowed, trying to calm down, “Look, no- no offense…” He giggled as he tried to breathe, “But that… It sounds so fucking stupid.”

Joel rolled his eyes behind the sunglasses, “I didn’t fucking invent it, Adam, I’m just part of it. Double-O stands for Over and Outer-“

Adam had to clap a hand over his mouth to stop the shriek of laughter that was trying to escape him.

Joel scowled this time, “Look, if you’re not going to take it seriously, then I would be more than happy to leak your info to those guys eying you at the bar.”

Adam raised an eyebrow at the threat, “Look, I’m… I’m sorry, I just- just have to get used to it, I guess.”

Joel sighed, “Basically, the first O stands for Over, which means that you don’t have a superior anymore. The opposite of an Over is an Under. You’re typically an Under for several years and then when your Over decides that you can hold your own, he or she will cut all contact, and that’s when you start being a professional.”

Adam nodded slowly, “So basically when you’re an Under you’re an assassin in training?”

“Pretty much. The other O stands for Outer. There are Outers and Inners; Outers are freelancers, while Inners stay in close groups and organizations. I’m not a Double though, which is a person who keeps double lives. Like, a person who has both his work and a family or something on the side.”

“I thought you just said you were a double-“

“I’m a double-O, not a Double.”

Adam gave up on trying to understand how these terms originally had been created. “What’s the opposite of a Double? I guess, that’s whatever you are?”

“I’m not a Double, I’m a Single.”

Adam paused, “Um. So you… So your title-“

“We don’t treat the terms as titles, just identifiers-“

“But still. Your title is Single double-O?”

Joel blinked slowly, “Your fascination with my work is getting a bit weird, Adam.”

Adam shrugged, “If I was an undercover cop, you’d know.”

“I would,” Joel confirmed proudly. He took of his sunglasses and pushed them up to rest on the top of his head, looking at Adam fondly, “I don’t mind, I’m just saying you probably shouldn’t ask so many questions. For your own good.”

“You never ask me any questions about my work! We have to talk about something,” Adam argued.

“I researched you for two weeks before deciding to use your apartment as a nest,” Joel tossed back.

Adam threw his arms up, “Well, sue me. I actually want to get to know you.”

“Most people wouldn’t want to get up close and personal with a professional murderer,” Joel said, taking another sip of his coffee.

“Most professional murderers don’t ask their friends for permission to kill.”

Oh, that was a low blow and Adam knew it. Joel’s face closed up and he put his sunglasses back down over his eyes.

Adam licked his lips, “I’m sorry, that came out way harsher than-“

“But you meant it.”

“I was trying to say that we’re an unusual pair. I was trying to, I don’t know, level out the field or something. Point out that we're both, like, adding to the weirdness,” Adam explained.

“You said we’re friends.”

“I like to think so,” Adam nodded.

Joel swallowed and looked away, “Being who I am, it’s not a good idea to be friends with me.”

“Who said anything about this being a good idea?” Adam finished off his coffee in two big gulps. He grinned, “But who hasn’t ever done something in their life that they didn’t think was a good idea?”

“I’m sure you’ve made plenty of mistakes,” Joel said swiftly.

Adam blinked, “See now that was rude.”

Joel straightened his back a bit, “Yeah, I don’t really care.”

Adam snorted.

“By the way, if we don’t leave together, they’re all going to assume that we’re friends. Meaning you’ll be an easy target. And I can’t have that. Friends lead to emotions, which leads to weakness,” Joel’s tone was almost casual, but the disdain on his face as he watched some of the other customers at the café, was hard to miss. “And I don’t particularly fancy the prospect of being blackmailed or some shit because stupid Inner Overs assume things,” he continued.

“So I’m a weakness if we don’t leave together?”

“If we leave together they’re going to assume that we’re working together or fucking. Or both. Anyhow, tthat should hold them off,” Joel said and Adam choked on his breath. Joel grinned.

“Being emotional is weakness?” Adam asked indignantly.

Joel hummed, “Well, for most Overs, including me, feelings are useless. It hinders you. Inners like to stick together and sing fucking 'Kumbaya' around a campfire, but that only means they’re easy to pick apart. Remove one card and the whole house falls apart. Most Overs, including me, don’t have those kinds of attachments.”

“Are all of those Inners?” Adam asked, glancing at the other customers.

Joel nodded, “Yeah. They don’t like it when Outers hang around their neighborhoods, but they also know that we’re all people who kill other people for a living. So pretty much every disagreement just ends up with a knife measuring contest and someone getting free drinks.”

“Like… cocktails or whatever?”

“Coffee, mostly.”

Adam eyed the nearly empty cup in front of Joel. Instantly he was thinking about how the hell Joel had a knife concealed somewhere on his body that was big enough to… This was easily the most insane line of thought Adam had ever had. Easily.

Adam decided to just tuck the question away and instead ask a new one, “So, what are we going to do after we leave here?”

“Walk around for a few blocks until they stop tailing us. Usually they quit after 4, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

“So… nothing, is what you’re saying.”

“Unless you want to actually go do something and make them think that we’re fucking for real?”

Adam rolled his eyes, “Sure. It can’t possibly get any worse, right? And- don’t answer that!”

Joel kept his stupid mouth shut and Adam started wondering about what people usually did when they were out on a date. Dinner – well, the café would have to do – and a movie, right? That was the classic setup, right?

“Wanna go watch a movie?” he asked.

Joel nodded, “Sure. I know a place just around the corner.”

Adam frowned, “There are no cinemas in this neighborhood-“

“Oh ye of little faith,” Joel teased before finishing off his coffee. The waiter from before mysteriously appeared at their table and gathered the cups, then setting down a bill. Joel looked at the waiter tiredly, “How’s the wife, Paul?”

The waiter froze, before snatching the bill of the table and leaving with a huff.

Adam leaned in, “Did you just threaten that man’s wife’s life?”

Joel dismissed him with a wave of his hand, “They know not to charge people like me. It’s an agreement, but they like to test us now and then. You being here, obviously helped them gather up the courage to test me.”

Adam sighed, “So we’re getting out of here?”

“Yeah, follow me,” Joel said, standing up and gathering up his phone before leading Adam down the street. Joel seemed to know where he was going, so the dark alleys they passed didn’t bother Adam as much as they might have if he’d gone alone. Then Joel put his arm around Adam’s waist, and in an almost natural move, Adam put his arm around Joel’s shoulders before realizing what he was doing. Joel leaned close, “They’re following us and you said you were fine with them thinking we’re fucking.”

“Does that make me a Bond Girl, double-O Joel?” Adam asked.

Joel snorted, “Shut the fuck up. The theatre’s only about 10 minutes away.”

“I still don’t remember seeing a theatre in that area before.”

“I know the place. The guy who owns it owes me his life, so I get in for free.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“Retired assassin. Young blood tried to take him out and I stepped in,” Joel shrugged.

“Did you kill the other guy?”

“Of course.”

Adam rolled his eyes. Of course.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Adam’s phone vibrated and Adam checked the notification. A text from Miles, one of his friends from the company, asking what he was doing later. He quickly typed a reply.

_Out with a friend for the night. Maybe tomorrow!_

It took mere seconds for Miles to text back.

_A “friend” you say? ;)_

Joel looked up at Adam, “Who’re you texting?”

“A guy from work,” Adam said, debating on how he was going to reply to this.

Miles sent another text before he could type anything.

_He/she a good friend? Do they have beautiful eyes and a wonderful smile? ;) ;) ;)_

Adam inhaled slowly through his nose and typed.

_Dark brown eyes and dimples_

Then he pocketed the phone and ignored it, even as it buzzed several times during the next minute. Why did he even type that? Well, it was true, right? Joel had dark brown eyes and when he smiled it was hard to ignore the dimples. Adam just hoped Joel wasn’t going to snoop in his phone later. Adam could deal with Miles in the morning, but Joel did not need to see those texts. Joel pointed towards the end of the street, “It’s right up on that corner and to the left. It’s a big brick building.”

“You got a scar on your shoulder,” Adam noted. It was almost hidden by the sleeve of the t-shirt, but two inches of light, indented skin peeked out and Adam had questions.

“Got stabbed,” Joel replied offhandedly.

“How many scars d’you have?”

“More than you I bet,” Joel said, his tone turning harder and Adam knew when to stop.

The building was looking ragged and Adam did not want to go inside. The fucking thing might collapse with them inside it. Joel just gave him a bright smile and went up to the doors, opening them wide and ushering Adam inside.

“Brian!” Joel called.

A tall man with dark, greying hair and a beard stepped out from a door that was marked “Office” and lit up at the sight of the assassin, "Joel! Wonderful to see you as always. Who’s this?”

“Adam. If Inners ask, he’s mine,” Joel said, gesturing to Adam dramatically. Adam waved awkwardly but Brian didn’t seem to mind. Joel then turned to Adam, “So, what do you want to see? Brian has literally everything.”

Adam paused. He didn’t want to watch action movies with a guy who killed for a living. But no chick flicks. That could get weird. Maybe something silly. Something stupid. Something animated- “Have you ever seen Inside Out?”

It was perfect. Joel said he didn’t like emotion. That emotions created weakness. Inside Out was the movie that destroyed emotion. Adam knew he was going to bawl like a baby, but how would Joel react? This needed to be put to the test!

Joel frowned, “I don’t- I don’t think so? What is it about?”

“Oh no, you don’t get any warning for this one. You have it?” Adam asked Brian, who smugly nodded. He looked at Adam knowingly as he gestured for a pair of double doors.

Joel shrugged to himself and dragged Adam towards the doors, “He’s gonna set it up while we find our seats. This hall is the tiny one, but it has the best seats. So comfy. Want to be in the front or the back?”

“Back,” Adam said and followed Joel up a set of stairs that led into a hall with 7 rows with about 7 seats in each row. They went to the far back and got situated in the middle, Joel immediately kicking his feet up onto the back of the seat in front of him, taking off his sunglasses and his cap, setting them aside in the vacant chair to his left.

“If you want popcorn or anything there’s a machine in there,” Joel pointed to a door in the back of the room.

Adam just shook his head, “I’m not really hungry.”

“You’ve had coffee,” Joel argued.

“I was thinking we should order Chinese after we’re done here and go back to my place,” Adam suggested boldly, watching Joel’s reaction.

“Can we have pizza instead? Not really in the mood for Chinese.”

Adam nodded, “Sure.”

Brian’s muffled voice echoed in the room suddenly as the monitor lit up, “You kids ready?”

“Roll the tape, Wecht!” Joel called back.

“Remember to come by my office when you’re done!”

The movie started and Adam waited.

10 minutes in, and Joel was complaining that Adam was making him watch this.

An hour and fifteen minutes in, Joel had outright laughed as Adam wept at the death of Bing Bong.

About 4 minutes later, Joel went still, tensing up as Riley’s control panel slowly went dark. As the emotions tried and failed to stop what was happening, Joel gripped his armrest so tight his knuckles turned white. Then as Sadness quietly walked up and unscrewed the Idea, and the control panel starting to light up again, Riley regaining her senses, Joel cried.

Silently.

As Sadness skillfully let out the powerful emotions, Joel crossed his arms tightly around himself.

Adam watched subtly, holding his breath as it happened.

He didn’t know if he should say anything.

Probably best if he didn’t.

As the credits started rolling 10 minute later, Adam rolled his shoulder and cracked a few joints, “Ah, it’s a great movie, but I swear I cry every fucking time, man.”

Joel was staring at the screen with a sort of dazed expression, “It was… good.”

Adam beamed and gently knocked Joel on the shoulder, “Glad you liked it! So, are we going back to my place now? For pizza? I’m starving.”

He was being as bright and cheerful as possible, because it was slowly dawning on him that Joel was shutting him out. Joel shrugged and tried to put on a happy façade, “Sure. I guess I’m driving? I parked back at the café, but-”

“Yeah, you have a nicer car. We can walk back,” Adam nodded.

He could use with a long walk right now, breathing in the fresh air, possibly helping Joel sorting out his feelings. Joel picked up his sunglasses and cap, holding them in one hand as he went up into the room with the monitor and hit a few switches, the screen turning dark. They walked back down to Brian’s office and Joel knocked on the door twice before aiming for the exit. Adam followed and as they stepped out into the sunset, Adam felt that this day would be a day he’d remember for as long as he lived.

“You okay?” Adam asked as they started walking side by side back towards the café, towards the car. “You’re quiet.”

Joel stuck his hands in his pockets, “I think- I think I get it. The movie. I… I understood what was happening.”

“Hmm?” Adam encouraged, looking sideways to watch Joel bite his lip.

“Like, at the end, when everything was going dark and shit. I get that,” Joel said and Adam’s stomach turned to ice. He had wanted a reaction, yes, but maybe in hindsight this hadn’t been the best idea. Joel put the cap on backwards, and set his sunglasses over his eyes.

Then he moved closer to Adam and put his arm around the taller man’s waist. As before, Adam put his arm around Joel’s shoulders and hugged him close as they walked, “We’re still being watched?”

“Maybe.”

Adam didn’t say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, that happened


	6. Chapter 6

Two days after the theatre date – if you could call it that – Joel received a text. It hadn’t been particularly ominous, but he’d frowned as he’d read it and decided that a visit to Adam’s workplace might be necessary.

_I think Burnie is being stalked by someone. Are you sure you got rid of other people out to kill him? –Adam_

Because of course Joel was sure he’d gotten rid of the competition. There was no fucking way his bloody signature all over the fucking walls of the gang hideout wasn’t warning enough for anyone who might consider taking the job. Burns was untouchable according to Joel, and whoever thought differently were going to receive a brutal reminder of why Joel was still alive and working with a golden reputation.

Assassins knew him.

They knew not to fuck with him.

So why anyone would think Burns could be a possible target was beyond Joel’s understanding. He’d have to ask politely when he was cutting out the person’s kneecaps. He sighed.

It was the middle of the day, but if Burns was really being stalked, then there was a good chance someone might pick him off after work and Joel was a meticulous worker. He wanted his assets safe; which meant visiting Adam at that ridiculous company.

Who was the idiot that came up with the name Rooster Teeth?

He tugged the cap lower on his head, adjusted the sunglasses and stepped out of his car. He was wearing his UNSUB hoodie and a pair of shorts, trying to look casual even though it was definitely too warm for hoodies. But people questioning his scars were an unneeded obstacle and the sooner he could get to Adam and Burns and figure out what the fuck was going on, the better. He was lucky he didn’t have scars below his knees.

He angled his head down as he walked closer to the building. There were so many fucking cameras. He pulled out his phone and typed out a text.

_I’m at the company. Let me in?_

He pocketed the phone again and strolled closer. There were several buildings, marked with numbers and all of the doors seemed to be equipped with a numeral code. He wasn’t shooting the lock off with this many cameras around.

His phone buzzed.

_I’m in stage 3, code is 2547_

Joel looked up the building closest to him, saw the number 5 proudly displayed on the side of it and turned on his heel. After a few minutes of wandering around, Joel was convinced there was no stage 3 in the area.

He heard a door open nearby and he saw a blonde woman step out of one of the smaller buildings. She walked with confident steps towards stage 5 and Joel knew what was coming. He hated it, but it was inevitable.

“Hey!”

The blonde turned her head towards him and slowed down, “Can I help you?”

Joel nodded, “Yeah, I’m looking for stage 3? Adam Ellis said I had to meet him there, but I have no clue where that is.”

“And your name is?”

She clearly wasn’t an idiot.

Dang it.

“Joel Heyman.”

Not his real name, but since it was the name he’d been using for the past 3 decades, it was almost as good as the real thing. He hated talking to people. He hated interacting with people. The woman nodded and pulled out her phone, pushed a few buttons and then held it up to her ear. “Adam? Yeah, hey, I’m standing out in the parking lot with a Joel Heyman. He’s saying- what?” she paused.

Joel had time.

She nodded, “Okay, I’ll send him in.” She hung up and shot him an apologetic look, “Sorry, but you can’t be too careful, you know?”

“It’s okay,” Joel shrugged and walked closer.

“I’m Barbara. How do you know Adam?” she held out her hand and he shook it briefly.

“Secret,” Joel said with a wink. She could conclude whatever implications she wanted, Joel didn’t care.

Barbara winked back, “Okay then. Follow me, I’ll let you in.”

“Thanks. You work with Adam too?” he asked as they walked.

Barbara smiled, “Sort of. In a way, everyone works with everyone around here. You know anything about the company?”

Joel feigned embarrassment, “Not really.” He’d done a lot of surveillance, but it couldn’t really be called knowing about the company, could it?

“Do you like gaming?”

“Eh, just- mostly Minecraft and Halo,” he said, this time truthfully. He didn’t really have the free time to do a lot of gaming, even though it helped him calm down after something stressful.

“Cool. Rooster Teeth started in Halo, actually. We started a web-series called Red vs. Blue, using the game as a sort of template. We’re on our fourteenth season now,” Barbara boasted with a grin.

Joel wasn’t sure he understood what she meant by using the game as a template, but the Red vs. Blue name rang a bell somewhere in his head. He decided to ignore the bell as they approached the door for stage 3.

Barbara punched in the code and opened the door wide, “In you go. He’s in the Achievement Hunter office, which is at the end of the hallway and to the right. He’s fixing up Jeremy’s computer I think.”

“Okay, thanks,” Joel waved distractedly as he entered the building and spotted more security cameras. He tugged the cap down lower and made his way to what he thought was the right direction. He pulled his phone out.

_I’m in the building, where are you?_

“Joel!”

Joel looked up sharply and saw Adam waving at him from a doorway. Joel walked over slowly, watching out for cameras per habit. He kept his distance from the doorway, “We gotta talk.”

“Come in, they’re not recording until I fix Jeremy’s set up,” Adam said, grabbing him by the arm and dragged him inside. Joel didn’t outright protest but he could feel a cold shiver run down his spine at the sight of all the cameras and sound equipment. He hated this; even if they weren’t recording he felt exposed.

“Who’s this guy?” a redhead asked, arms crossed over his chest. The man was standing near a shorter man with the top of his head dyed green. The redhead gestured to the shorter man’s computer, “He gonna help with Lil’ J’s shit?”

Adam shook his head with a snort, “Not likely. Now move, Michael.”

Joel watched as both Michael and Jeremy – Lil’ J? – moved out of the way for Adam to crawl underneath the shorter man’s desk. Joel felt out of place and leaned back against the wall next to the door. Another man was in the room ignoring the situation. With a mustache and tattoos crawling up from his fingertips to disappear underneath a t-shirt, he didn’t exactly look like an office worker. Then again Joel supposed that gamers weren’t really office workers, despite sitting at a desk and staring at a screen all day.

“Who wears sunglasses inside?” Michael asked snidely. There wasn’t any heat behind the words.

“I have chronic migraines,” Joel lied smoothly.

Michael’s lip curled like he was going to say something, but he kept his mouth shut and Joel had time to survey the room more closely. A lot of merchandise and monitors, cameras and several miles of wiring and cables. Also, there were multiple consoles on each desk. As far as Joel could tell, there were 3 people missing from the room, at least according to the desk situation.

The door opened and a man with broad shoulders stepped into the room, brushing past him, “Jeremy’s computer still coughing up blood?”

Joel froze and had it not been because he was in the middle of a crowded room with dozens of cameras, he would have pulled out his knife. He hadn’t seen the man’s face but he’d recognize that voice anywhere.

The fucking Vagabond was working at Rooster Teeth?!

“Ryan, Gus was asking for you earlier. Said he sent you an e-mail,” the tattooed man said, not removing his eyes from the screen. Joel swallowed, uncomfortable as fuck. The Vagabond’s name was Ryan? Why? Why did this have to happen? Why now?

Wait- was Ryan- the Vagabond- had Ryan been hired to kill Burns?

That would make no sense.

Well, maybe. Depending on how long he’d been working here and how close he was to the guys. Was he as protective of his turf as most other Doubles? Only one way to find out for sure. But he didn’t want to start a scene right now. He had to keep quiet. The Vagabond knew Joel’s voice, and he had always been a fast motherfucker. The Vagabond had to be on the other side of the room before Joel wanted to bring attention to his presence.

He looked at the Vagabond, unabashedly memorizing the man’s features for future reference. Dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and a stubble; perfectly fucking anonymous. No visible scars or recognizable marks.

Joel was so fucking fucked. There was no way the Vagabond was going to let him walk away if he knew that Joel had figured out his identity. All it would require from here was a quick google search for employees at Rooster Teeth, maybe just Achievement Hunter. Ryan was bound to show up.

As a Double, the Vagabond had a normal paper trail like everyone else.

Then the Vagabond looked right at him, eyes sparkling, “Who’s the new guy?”

Joel wasn’t going to reply. He couldn’t afford that exposure.

Michael spoke up, “Friend of Adam’s.”

“Wearing sunglasses inside-“

“I already said that!” Michael snapped. “Apparently has chronic migraines or some shit.”

Joel looked away and grinned. The Vagabond had friends. What the fuck was his life right now?

Adam coughed and crawled out from under the table, standing up straight, “Alright, restart your system and it should be fine.”

Jeremy quickly grabbed his chair, sat down and grabbed his equipment, starting up the whole thing with a whir. Adam looked to Joel, “Let’s go.”

Joel happily went and as soon as they left the room he let out a heavy breath. The fucking Vagabond worked with Adam. Sort of. “Do you work with Ryan?” Joel asked as soon as he was sure they were out of earshot.

Adam shook his head, “Not really. I mean, I fix their shit when they break it, and sometimes I do podcasts with him, but not on a regular basis. Why?”

Joel paused, “I know Ryan.”

“Real-“ Adam broke off with a choked sound. Joel winced. Adam whispered, “How do you know Ryan?”

“Forget about it for now. How long has he worked here?”

“Since forever. Maybe 7 or 8 years,” Adam replied, thinking back.

Joel nodded. The chances of Ryan being the hired gun was getting smaller and smaller by the second. Joel pushed the thought away, “You said Burns was being stalked?”

“Um, yeah, I mean, he thinks he is.”

“Where’s his office. I have to check it,” Joel said.

“I’ll lead you to it. He’s preparing for the podcast, so he might not be there.”

Joel shrugged, “He doesn’t have to be there for me to tell him to leave. I have to turn the room inside out.”

Adam sighed, “Just don’t break anything, and I think you can do whatever you want.”

Then a hand snagged the fabric at the back of Joel's neck and he felt a sharp edge push against his side lightly, “Tell me what you’re doing here, and I might let you walk away.”

Joel huffed, “You’re too suspicious.”

“Ryan?” Adam took a step away, mortified at what was happening.

“Adam, could you leave us alone for a second?” Ryan almost growled, and Joel could feel the man’s breath on his neck. The hallways was empty, and there was no immediate escape. He was at the mercy of the Vagabond. The words "mercy" and "Vagabond" rarely appeared in the same sentence, but Joel wasn't here to provoke.

Joel cleared his throat, “There’s no need. He knows. I’m here on his request. Burns is being stalked.”

Ryan paused, before removing the blade and spinning Joel around, simultaneously pushing him into the wall. He put his forearm across Joel’s chest to keep him in place, “If Burnie was being stalked, I would know.”

“Sure. But I want to double check,” Joel shrugged, pushing forward and Ryan let him stand straight. The knife had already disappeared to who knows where, but Ryan was still scowling at him.

“You could have contacted me. I would have-“

“I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t know you work here,” Joel protested.

Ryan frowned, “But…”

“I don’t give a fuck about who you pretend to be when you’re around these people. I know the reputation of the Vagabond. I couldn’t care less about you,” Joel said derisively.

“What’s your name?” Ryan asked.

Eye for an eye.

“Joel.”

Ryan’s mouth twitched, barely concealing the anger, “You’re lying.”

“It’s what you’re getting,” Joel said.

Adam was standing to the side, awkwardly shifting on his feet. 

Ryan crossed his arms, “Fine, if you want to be difficult.”

Joel winked, “You know me.”

Another pregnant pause followed and Adam tried to take control, “Alright, is that settled then. Joel goes with me to check out the office-“

“And if you find anything, you let me know,” Ryan interrupted, shooting Joel a knowing look.

Joel threw his hands up, “Fine, if that’s how you want it.”

“It is,” Ryan turned on his heel and walked back towards the Achievement Hunter office, shoulders raised tight with tension. Joel mentally shook it off. So he met the man behind the mask today, so what?

Fucking terrifying was what it was.

He breathed out, “From now on; inform both me and Ryan if you notice something suspicious.”

“He’s like you, isn’t he?” Adam asked with a wince.

“Sort of. He’s a Double; one normal life and one professional life. Until now I’ve only known him as the Vagabond,” Joel said, clapping Adam on the arm with the intent of getting Adam going. They needed to get to the office still, and Joel felt even more uncomfortable knowing there were people in the trade inside the walls. But he also knew the Vagabond wasn’t a rat. He’d be safe. Sort of.

"You've worked together?"

Joel grinned.


	7. Chapter 7

Thoughts of Caboose continued to nag at Ryan’s mind during the following recording. It was a Minecraft video, but the Mad King was not present. Today he was just Ryan, making awkward jokes and flubbing his words. Caboose’s presence in the building weighed heavy on his shoulders – perhaps heavier than he would have liked.

How the fuck was Ellis associated with someone like Caboose? Or Joel, or whatever the fuck the guy was calling himself now. If Ryan recalled correctly, his name had been Bill at some point.

Joel.

Ryan grimaced at the name. Somehow it suited the man, and if that was the name Joel had taken for himself, then Ryan wasn’t really one to wrestle it away from him. He knew that most of the people who started as young as Joel had, often came from homes where they wanted to leave their past behind. If Joel was indeed coming from something he wanted to leave behind, then Ryan wasn’t going to go snooping. Plus the chances of finding a paper trail on a Single were slim to none.

Sometimes Ryan hated that he was a Double.

But he knew he wasn’t built for being a Single. He didn’t have the mentality. Or maybe he just hadn’t started young enough; maybe he just hadn’t gotten used to the thought of being a tool. Maybe if he’d started a few years earlier he could have avoided the trouble that came with a double life.

In that regard, he was envious of Joel’s life. Joel was never concerned with anything but himself. Ryan had his friends, his co-workers – people in his life that he couldn’t cut away, and who’d be endangered if anyone figured out his identity behind the mask. He couldn't just leave and start over. He would leave too many loose threads behind, and the guilt would surely kill him at some point. He couldn't do that to himself. He'd worked too hard to let that happen. No one could know-

Caboose knew.

But Caboose wasn’t the spiteful type.

Sure, he’d create chaos on a whim while on a job, but not because of personal convictions.

Ryan was safe with Caboose.

His phone buzzed towards the end of the recording and he glanced to the side of his desk to read the notification; a new text message from Caboose. For half a second Ryan wondered why he had Caboose’s number, until he remembered that one thing from 3 years ago and his shoulders relaxed again.

Jack shot him a glance and Ryan just smiled back with a shake of his head; everything was fine.

Jack shrugged and went back to his screen.

As luck would have it for the Vagabond, Geoff’s console crashed two minutes later, which threw a wrench into the recording and the Vagabond had time to check Caboose’s message.

_Found 2 bugs + 1 hidden camera. You fucking slob. –C_

A growl worked its way up the Vagabond’s throat and he couldn’t hide the scowl on his face. How the fuck-

He huffed out a breath and typed his reply.

_Meet me at the entrance of Stage 3 in 30 minutes. We need to talk. – Vagabond_

He threw his phone back on the table and adjusted his headphones.

Jack again shot him a glance and Ryan just shook his head, willing Jack to let it go. And Jack, being Jack, of course let it slide. Jack was too nice to probe. After Geoff got the console up and running again, and they collectively finished the recording, Ryan was out of his seat almost instantly. “Gotta go to the bathroom,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth before exiting the room, spotting Joel as soon as he neared the end of the hallway.

Ellis was nowhere in sight and Ryan looked around, “Where’s Adam?”

“Sent him to keep an eye on Burns and inform him of the situation. We can’t let him out of this building unsupervised, but I don’t feel like babysitting when you’ve already infiltrated the place,” Joel said with a slight air of derision.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed, “I didn’t infiltrate this place; I work here.”

“Who the fuck cares. I’m not staying here any longer than I have to. I only have one life to cling to and if that shit goes up in flames because of shitty security cameras then I have to take a bit of a holiday, okay? Not really keen on that!” Joel was snapping at him and Ryan understood why.

When Ryan first started working at Rooster Teeth, he’d also been afraid of the cameras. It had taken him close to 3 years of working for the company before he willingly went in front of a lens.

“The hidden camera saw your face,” Ryan asked.

Joel shrugged, “Wore my cap low and kept my sunglasses on. I kept Adam out of the office for the search since I don’t want his face to be associated with the guy who found their surveillance equipment.”

Ryan nodded, “Smart move. But I’m actually surprised you don’t keep your paint with you.”

“I don’t use it often, so it’s not something I instinctually pack,” Joel said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

The few times they’d worked together, Ryan had noticed that while he wore black face paint, Caboose wore a combination of blue and gold paint. For Caboose it probably wasn’t as much about concealing his identity as it was about creating a look and a character. People in the shadier parts of society associated those colors with Caboose, and if Ryan remembered correctly it had at some points also been a part of Caboose’s signature.

“So you up for escorting Burns home later? Adam’s keeping an eye on him now; so I’ll leave for now to investigate and meet you all later at Burns’ place?” Joel was itching to leave and Ryan decided to agree.

He nodded, “Alright, but keep me in the loop. No reason to frighten Adam or Burnie with our realities more than necessary.”

Joel’s nose scrunched up, as if he was reminded of something unpleasant, “Sure.”

A few seconds of unpleasant silence went by before Joel turned on his heel and marched out the building.

Ryan breathed out heavily and put his hands on his hips, feeling both accomplished and defeated.

“Ryan?”

Ryan jumped and turned around, a hand over his heart, “Jesus Christ!”

Jack held both hands up, “Sorry, just… Are you okay? You know that guy?”

Ryan bit the inside of his cheek and the lie slid of his tongue relatively easy, “Yeah, I didn’t realize at first, but he and I are actually friends online. He’s apparently friends with Adam and came to visit and I just didn’t figure out who he was until, like, 5 minutes before he had to leave to catch a train.”

The lie left a bad taste in his mouth.

His lives were mixing together and his stomach rolled at the thought.

Jack frowned, “Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve always just known him by his screen name and in the voice chat he always uses this silly voice, so I was really surprised,” Ryan grinned, crossing his fingers behind his back.

Jack smiled, “That’s cool. Where’s he from?”

Oh, um- uh, where was reasonable?

“Uh, he’s been moving around the country a lot recently, but I think he’s from Washington D.C.”

Nailed it. It was absolute bullshit, but believable enough, right?

“Are he and Adam good friends then? It’s a bit of a long trip, isn’t it?” Jack asked, now just sounding genuinely curious.

Ryan smirked, “Oh, they’re dating.”

Because why not?

Jack was surprised, “Oh, really? Like long-distance?”

“I think they actually might be moving in together soon. That’s one of the reasons he came; like for signing some stuff, I think,” Ryan rambled. He quickly added, “But don’t tell Adam that you know. In fact, it’s probably best to keep it a secret. Joel’s pretty private, I don’t want to, like, out them or anything if they want to announce something later on Facebook or something.”

“Sure, I’ll keep it quiet,” Jack said cheerfully.

Ryan quietly let out another deep breath.

So far so good.

“Now, we have more to record, right? We have a Cloudberry Kingdom?”

Jack nodded and motioned with his hand for them both to move back to the office, “Yeah, Geoff has a meeting and Jeremy’s going to do some editing while we record.”

Ryan moved along with Jack back to the office, “Dare we hope for three more levels?”

Jack laughed, “I think we’re lucky if we get two.”

Ryan chuckled.

He was going to savor these next few hours of normality.

A few hours of peace and quiet, before the Vagabond and Caboose had serious work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter to hold you over, since the next chapter i've planned is going to take a little while longer than planned. also with me starting university, my time to write fic will be limited but hopefully the next chapter will be up sometime next month! hope you'll enjoy some ryan pov for now!
> 
> love you all, xx  
> also, come find me on tumblr, let's chat! iwouldkillfor.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

After the Vagabond had successfully accompanied Burns and Adam to Burns' place without incident, and texted Joel to set up the meet up, Joel had contemplated asking the man if he wanted out now. Joel could probably take care of this by himself. And he didn’t want the Vagabond’s identity to become known by the people they were trying to hunt down. If even parts of the Vagabond’s real name was circled around through rumors or whatnot, the Vagabond would almost certainly have to pack his bags and start over. And being this well-known with the Rooster Teeth company, that would probably be close to impossible.

Joel didn’t like it. He texted the Vagabond.

_You can drop out if you want. I can handle it. -C_

The Vagabond’s presence and perspective was both good and bad.

But Joel wouldn’t want to compromise a coworkers life because of something Joel had sort of initiated. It was Joel’s fault really. His presence in the community had been lacking in the last couple of months; he’d taken fewer jobs, less headlines, and less mayhem.

It was all Adam’s fault really. He was... distracting. Making Joel question things.

Joel sighed and looked at the papers on his table. His safe house was on the outskirts of town, but he still had all the blinds closed and most of the lights turned off. On the table in front of him were stacks of papers and files, all of them potential clues to who was taking aim at the back of Burns’ head. So far the most obvious option was someone close to the gang Joel had initially been hired by. But Joel had been meticulous about their subsequent eradication. And he’d left his signature, and smears of his blue and gold paints. Joel looked down to the open duffle bag next to the table, the paints lying on top of the spare layer of clothes that Joel always kept with him in case he couldn’t control the blood spatter. He didn’t often use the paints, but the Vagabond’s paranioa was rubbing off on him. The mask he used to wear in the beginning of his career was locked in a box in the closet in the bedroom. He hadn't worn it for a while, but now he was considering the necessity.

Along with the mask, the box also contained another handgun and a magazine.

The magazine had one bullet.

Just in case.

Joel’s thoughts returned to Adam. Despite the shitstorm that had been created because of their accidental friendship thing, Joel liked Adam. Not as big of an inconvenience as Joel had feared and definitely a better friend than he could have ever hoped for. It had been a long time since Joel had had friends.

He shrugged and gathered up the files, carefully putting them in the duffle to avoid crinkles and zipped up the bag. He slung his jacket on and picked up the bag, exciting the safe house as quietly as he could. It wasn’t that late in the evening and he didn’t want attention from his nosey neighbors. Joel had often contemplated switching safe house, but he liked the location and nosey neighbors could quickly become dead neighbors if they proved too curious.

His beloved car purred as he pulled out of the driveway and set the course for Burns' place.

He received a text a few minutes into the drive and glanced down to check.

_Not bailing. Job’s at stake. –Vagabond_

Joel scoffed and tossed the phone to the passenger seat. Stupid reason to stay. Then again, Joel was only staying because his reputation was at stake if Burns got killed after Caboose had declared him off limits. Joel groaned loudly at the situation.

Nothing to do now except work until the issue was resolved.

And then maybe go on a bit of a spree to remind people that Caboose was still alive and breathing down their necks if they crossed him. Being threatening constantly wasn’t much of a feat when you had Joel’s years of experience and history. But he was apparently entering the era of people questioning his authority and like a good murderer he was going to prove he was not to be questioned.

He arrived at Burns’ place and rang the buzzer, the strap of the duffle digging into his shoulder.

The system dinged and Joel entered and ran up the stairs. He entered without knocking and tossed the duffle towards where he knew the dining table was. The Vagabond nodded as a greeting and Joel nodded back. He looked to where Burns and Adam was sitting, in the large leather couch and frowned at the appearance of Solaire in Adam’s lap.

The Vagabond noted the look, “If he’s gonna camp out-“

“Nevermind,” Joel dismissed it. He didn’t want to hear it. Fucking cat was too adorable for him to deny it’s presence anyway. He unzipped the duffle and handed the files to the Vagabond, “These are the most obvious suspects. Unless of course it’s a newcomer, in which case I declare dibs on his kneecaps.”

The Vagabond rolled his eyes, “Sure.” He sat at the table and started filing through the papers.

Joel looked at Adam, “You should learn to shoot a gun. Or at least handle a knife properly.”

“He’s not Burnie’s bodyguard, Joel,” the Vagabond interjected.

Joel sneered, “Oh, and you are? _Ryan_?”

The Vagabond didn’t bite at the jab. Instead he just sighed, “We’ll have to plan more carefully in the future. But this situation shouldn’t take long.”

“And then you’ll just return to your office job,” Joel couldn’t help the tone in his voice. He knew Ryan could hear it as well, but Joel wasn’t going to admit that he was envious. Adam’s friendship was making him rethink his life in a way he hadn’t in decades. He’d become aware that now there’d be people who’d remember him for more than an account number when he died. It was unsettling. In some ways he was glad that there’d be proof of his existence in some people’s memory. But at the same time it went against all his training and everything in his past was berating him for even being in this situation to begin with.

Sure, Brian was a friend but that was sort of a professional relationship, right? An exception to the rule?

Lie to yourself long enough and it’ll eventually be the truth.

The Vagabond contemplated his reply, “You know, there’s nothing stopping you from socializing with us when the cameras are off.”

Joel snorted, “As if I’d risk that.”

“You’re too paranoid for your own good, you know that?” the Vagabond drawled, flipping the paper he’d been holding.

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

The Vagabond appeared amused, but didn’t disagree. “I don’t recognize most of these people,” he said, putting the papers flat on the table.

Joel barely kept the annoyance out of his voice, “Not surprised. But which ones do you recognize?”

“These three,” the Vagabond pulled two files to the top.

Austin Aussies, the Manders Gang, and Tyris Maeko.

The last one surprised Joel, “You know Maeko?”

“Ah, kinda,” the Vagabond smiled awkwardly and Joel was going to pry later.

“Whatever. I think we can rule her out. She's not the type to get pissy with affairs that aren't hers. The Aussies and the Manders Gang are those with the closets relationship to the Pinus,” Joel explained. “I sort of painted the walls of the Pinus’ hideout with blood, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this is revenge motivated. But the only question is why Burns? It’s a very obvious insult to my reputation, but still. Why not just go for me?” he continued, crossing his arms.

“Most likely they know you were hired to take out Burnie by the Pinus. When you decided to quote unquote double cross the gang, they want to take things into their own hands. Teach you a lesson so to speak?” the Vagabond suggested. "Targeting Burnie is just them trying to provoke you before actually going for you."

It wasn’t a bad suggestion. It sort of made sense.

Joel sighed, “I hate when Inners get their panties in a bunch.”

“I know,” the Vagabond groaned knowingly.

The two of them shared a look.

Joel looked at the two gang files, “So which of these are out target? Or have they banded together?”

“I’m inclined to believe they’ve mashed up for this. I don’t think one Inner gang would have the guts, no matter how wronged they’d have felt,” the Vagabond said.

Burns leaned towards Adam, “What are Inners?”

“Dude, that’s a story for another time,” Adam whispered back with a giggle.

Burns’ phone started to ring. Burns reached to grab it but Joel intercepted and picked up the phone, checking the ID, “Who’s Geoff?”

Ryan stood up, “He’s my boss in the Achievement Hunter office, but he co-founded Rooster Teeth with Burnie and two other guys. Put it on speaker.”

Joel answered the call and pushed the speaker button, then looked at Burns expectantly.

“Hey, Geoff, what’s up?” Burns asked.

“Dude, if this is your idea of a joke, then boy, let me tell ya, it’s not fucking funny,” Geoff rattled on the phone and Burns frowned.

“What do you mean, buddy?”

“I just got a package covered in what I hope is animal blood and a fucking post-it note that says it’s from you. So you got some explaining to do before I open this thing,” Geoff complained.

The Vagabond and Joel exchanged glances and the Vagabond stepped forward and took the phone from Joel’s hand, “Geoff?”

“Ryan? You’re with Burnie?”

“Did someone bring you the package? Did you see someone?”

“No, it was just on my doorstep. I heard someone knocking and when I opened up the door it was there, I didn’t-“

“I need you to set the package down and not touch it until I get there. I’m coming over,” the Vagabond said, his tone grave and there was a long pause on the other end.

“Ryan, what’s going on?”

“I’ll explain when I get there. For now, don’t touch the package and lock your doors. I mean it,” the Vagabond said. “Tell me you’ll do as I say,” he barked and Joel could almost smell the protectiveness radiating off the Vagabond.

“Okay! Jeez- I’m locking my doors. Don’t- should I call someone-“

“Absolutely not! Geoff, please, just do as I say,” the Vagabond interrupted.

“… Ryan?”

“What is it, Geoff?” the Vagabond was staring intently at the phone.

“Is it… is it animal blood?” Geoff’s voice was quiet.

The Vagabond sighed, “I honestly don’t know. I’ll be right there, just lock everything and don’t let anyone in before I get there.”

“Okay. Um… bye.”

“I’ll be right there,” the Vagabond promised before ending the call. He tossed the phone to Burns before throwing a hard kick to the dining room table, sending it skidding back a few feet. Burns and Adam jumped, Solaire letting out a quiet whine. Joel just grimaced. The Vagabond turned to Joel, “This is-“

Joel interrupted, “It’s a fucking mess. I know. And it’s my fault. I know.” The Vagabond didn’t speak, just breathed hard from the stress of it all. “Let’s go,” Joel inclined his head towards the front door.

“We can’t both go,” the Vagabond gestured to Burns and Adam.

Joel sighed, “They’ll have to come with us. Better to keep them close.”

The Vagabond bit his lip before nodding, “They’re safer with us.”

The two people sitting on the couch figured that this was their cue to get ready to leave.

Adam let Solaire down and they all gathered their jackets, “So now Geoff’s involved too?”

“Unfortunately,” the Vagabond said tersely.

Joel winced and shoved the files back into the duffle before slinging it over his shoulder, heading out the door first. As they gathered in the parking lot, he pointed at Burns, “You’re with me. You’re my responsibility for now. Adam, you’re with the Vagabond.”

“You can use my name, you know?” the Double snapped.

Joel blinked, “Ryan. Adam you’re with Ryan.”

They settled in their cars and Ryan led the way.

A few minutes into the drive, Burns looked to Joel awkwardly, “You can… I mean, you can call me Burnie if you want?”

Joel glanced sideways at his former mark. “Fine. Burnie.”

“You’re Joel, right? Ryan said-“

“Ryan should learn keep his mouth shut.”

Burnie paused, “So… what do you want me to call you?”

Another pause. The car hummed.

“Call me Joel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, another chapter, more set up for bigger things!
> 
> come say hi at my tumblr; iwouldkillfor !! ^^


	9. Chapter 9

Adam couldn’t read Ryan’s face and it was freaking him the fuck out.

“Ryan?”

Ryan’s eyes snapped over to give him a sharp look. He softened quickly though, “What is it, Adam?”

“How… how did you turn out like you did? I mean, Joel’s… he’s so- he has an different approach-“

Ryan snorted, “Yeah, you can say that again.”

“Still,” Adam pressed. “You are in the same line of work. But for whatever reasons, you’re completely different,” Adam tried to explain where he was confused, tried to narrow down the reason to why he was asking. But it never came out right.

“You’re asking how two people of the same line of work, do their task in very different ways?” Ryan attempted to clarify and Adam shrugged, somewhat acknowledging the simplification. Ryan sighed, “You have to understand that people work in many different ways, Adam.”

“Yeah, but, like… What makes a person chose to be like… like Joel. Who chooses to work like that?” Adam was struggling to understand. And Joel had never been forward with a reason. Maybe Ryan had some insight.

Ryan licked his lips, “Adam, I don’t think you should ask me about why Joel choose the life Joel lives. I know why I choose to split _my_ life, and I’m living with the consequences now. But those reasons are mine to understand and no one else. I doubt if I explained them to you, you’d understand. But they’re mine and they’re valid for me.”

“I just… I don’t get it. How do you even- how did you even get started doing this?”

Ryan took a turn, letting the silence stretch, checked the rearview mirror for Joel’s car. Adam swallowed and figured there wasn’t going to be a reply but then Ryan took a deep breath.

“When I started, it wasn’t because I thought murder was cool. I wasn’t a bad kid, and I didn’t hang around with that crowd. But one day, I- I saw something, and… I saw something I shouldn’t have. Kinda like how you and Joel got to know each other.”

“You had an assassin camp out in your apartment?”

Ryan chuckled, “Not exactly. I witnessed someone finishing off their mark. He was a sort of a vigilante, really. The mark was a serial killer who’d been eluding the cops for a few months. The assassin had decided that enough was enough and as I was walking past an alleyway one night, I heard a gunshot. So, I hide behind a dumpster, just in case whoever’s shooting is coming towards me. The guy runs past me and our eyes lock. Then there were sirens because apparently a cop car was in the area and he runs, and I just sat there until cops got me and I explained what I could.”

Adam was nodding along and as they came to a stoplight, Ryan stretched out his arms and fingers before re-setting them on the steering wheel.

“Exactly two days later, I wake up in the middle of the night with a gun against my forehead,” Ryan continued, scratching his chin. “The assassin asks me to get up and get dressed. I do as he says, but when the guy turns his back on me for, like, half a second… I don’t know, my brain made a fucking summersault or something and I- I already- Like, I owned a gun, because, yeah, I’m paranoid and I’d just moved to the area. So I grab the gun from the nightstand and I actually manage to catch this assassin guy off-guard. Then he starts laughing at me and in the blink of an eye I’m on my back and the gun’s against my forehead again.”

“Why didn’t you shoot him?” Adam asked.

Ryan blinks a few times, “He asked that too. I said I didn’t know why. He called me a liar.”

Adam bit the inside of his cheek and waited, breathing shallow; afraid of ruining the moment somehow.

“I said I didn’t want to kill the guy who put an end to something horrible,” Ryan said quietly. His shoulders loosened, “He offered to teach me to handle the gun better and then it sort of grew from there. But I had friends, I had people who knew me. I couldn’t disappear. So I became what Joel’s crowd call a ‘two-faced liar’.”

“You don’t sound terribly upset,” Adam noted with a raised eyebrow.

Ryan grinned, “Well, they’re not exactly wrong. When I’m out there, I’m the Vagabond. But when I’m with the people I care about I’m Ryan, and feel like I’m doing something with my life. Not to quote Beyoncé or anything, but I like the idea that there’s proof in the world that I was here and I made a difference, you know?”

Adam hummed, looking back to the road. “Do you think Joel ever feels like that? Like he wants to make a difference?”

“You’ll have to ask Joel for that. I’ve known him for a few years, but all I know is his façade and I don’t know if I’ll ever succeed in getting past that,” Ryan said with a sad smile.

“You and me both, I guess,” Adam grunted.

Ryan breathed out slowly, “The only thing I know for sure about the guy, is that he started young. And when you’re young, you haven’t had time to make connections to people; it’s easier to disappear and become someone else entirely. Almost all people who work like Joel start fairly young, and most of them never return to being that person. So I don’t know if you should ask to know his past. You’ll have better luck just asking him about his future.”

“He said he understood Inside Out,” Adam blurted.

Ryan frowned, completely thrown, “Excuse me?”

“You know the movie? The animated one?”

“Yeah, with all the different emotions, like, Joy and Disgust and all that? He’s seen that?” Ryan appeared surprised.

Adam nodded, “We saw it together. Don’t ask, it’s a long story!” Ryan closed his mouth and let Adam continue, “Joel said, like towards the end, when Riley’s panel was shutting down and, like, the emotions weren’t working properly anymore… He said he understood that.”

Ryan looked in the rearview mirror again, “Look, Adam… Like I said, people who work like Joel often start young and they don’t exactly get snatched from their families. They’re mostly orphans, either by chance or deliberately.”

Adam let that sink in, looking down at the dashboard of the car.

“I’m not saying that’s what happened with Joel, but… It’s a possibility, and I don’t want you to go digging in his past-“

“I’m not going to!”

“Listen to me, Adam! You’re lucky if he sticks around after this whole thing with Burnie is over. He does this; hops around from state to state. Looking for work. Don’t start something you won’t be able to see finished,” Ryan’s tone was harsher than before.

Adam looked out the window, watching another row of houses pass by.

“Look, I’m kinda glad you got him to open up, even if it’s only a little. But you have to understand that Joel’s used to being alone; he won’t seek you out unless he absolutely has to.”

“He made pasta at my place,” Adam said weakly.

“… Adam, that doesn’t mean-“

“It can’t mean nothing, Ryan!”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t! But you won’t domesticate him with pasta and animated movies.”

“He’s not a fucking dog.”

“Adam, for fuck’s sake!” Ryan made a hard stop at the red light and turned in his seat to stare at Adam. “You don’t understand how this life works! You don’t understand what we’re trained to do, or what we’re trained to become. As soon as we become proficient enough to be for hire, we don’t have an identity anymore. We’re a tool. We’re a faceless killer that you hire to do the dirty work. We don’t have a say, because we don’t have anything _to_ say, Adam. We’re a means to an end.”

Adam stared, “But you… you can say no, right? You can decline jobs, right?”

“Of course you can, but your rep gets a little worse every time you do it. Every time you do it, it gets worse and when you’re finally unemployable, guess what? You’re useless. What’s a hitman for hire that you can’t hire? That’s how people disappear in this world. You lose your usefulness and people won’t bother with you anymore, but because you’re neck deep in underground crime and dirty money, they’re not going to let you go quietly,” Ryan said, putting the car in motion again as Joel flashed his headlights at them. Ryan rolled his shoulder, “In this world you don’t get to retire. At least not peacefully.”

“But the guy at the cinema-“

“What, you’re talking about Ninja Brian? As far as I know he was almost taken out few weeks after he retired but some other assassin saved his ass,” Ryan said dismissively.

“Joel saved his ass,” Adam deadpanned.

“… Now, that doesn’t actually surprise me.”

Another long pause.

“We’re at Geoff’s in a about a minute,” Ryan informed and Adam nodded.

“How did you meet Joel?” Adam asked.

Ryan groaned, “Oh God, that’s a story that’s gotta be saved for later. Let’s just say he and I didn’t exactly get along back then, which may have led to an accidental C4 detonation.”

“Did you or he...?”

“It was kind of a joint effort, I think that’s fair to say,” Ryan said with no little amount of exasperation. He pulled up to a two-story house and turned off the engine, looking at the windows. Adam looked as well and they spotted Geoff, who nodded at them in greeting.

The pair of them exited Ryan’s car and Joel drove up and parked behind it.

Ryan looked at Joel, “You spotted anyone?”

Joel shook his head, “Kept an eye out. Nothing.”

They walked towards the front door.

“Hey, what was with that hard stop a few lights back, Va- Ryan?” Joel corrected himself semi-smoothly.

“Thought I saw a squirrel,” Ryan lied easily.

Joel didn’t believe it for a second, “Huh.”

Burnie walked up and knocked the door.

Geoff must have stood on the other side, because it was instantly unlocked and thrown open. Geoff looked about ready to explode, “I can’t fucking deal with whatever the fuck that fucking box- Why the- what the fuck, guys?!”

Ryan pressed past Geoff into the house and Joel motioned for everyone to get inside, being the last one to enter whilst looking around with keen eyes. He locked it as well and they all went for the kitchen where Geoff had set the package on the countertop.

The box was maybe 3 by 3 inches wide, another 2 inches tall, and splattered with what looked like dried blood.

“I ruled out that it was fake blood, because, you know, coagulation is a thing. But… why did I get this?” Geoff asked. Then he looked to Joel, “And what’s he doing here-”

“Joel,” Ryan interrupted and the assassin in question stepped forward to look at what Ryan was pointing out. He’d flipped the post-it note and on the back it read;

_Open Me._

Joel just shrugged, “This line of work…”

Ryan motioned with his arm, and everyone besides Joel stepped back. Ryan then carefully tugged at the lid of the package, sliding it up and off the box. Inside the box, sitting on a bed of cotton, was a bloody bullet. A small letter appeared to be tucked into one of the sides of the box and Joel leaned in and gingerly picked it out of the box, careful not to disturb the bullet.

Joel carefully unwrapped the letter and read it through.

It took less than five seconds for Joel to go from calm to furious. Ryan saw it coming, and was quick to react, grabbing Joel’s arm roughly and holding him in place, “Joel, what does it say?”

Joel looked up, and Ryan could feel the man shaking in his grip. Joel couldn’t speak and Ryan snatched the paper from Joel’s grip and read it aloud.

“This is the bullet we used to kill Brian Wecht. Do with it what you want. You seem to have little regard in where you place _your_ bullets.”

Adam felt his heart drop.

“Let go of me, Ryan,” Joel demanded icily.

“Joel, listen to me-“

“Shut the fuck up!” Joel roared and the three civilians in the room took a large step away from the reaction. “You shut your mouth, right now!” Joel continued, but from where Adam was standing he could see the tears that were gathering in the dark brown eyes, and he knew Ryan could see them as well. Joel just looked down, “Motherfucker…”

Ryan quickly folded the note back up and put it back in the box, put the lid back on and then handed the entire box to Joel, who clung to it like a child and exited the kitchen. They could hear pacing in the next room, and Ryan sighed softly, then whispered, “Let him have a minute.”

A light went on in Adam’s head, “Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“Was Brian Joel’s Over?”

Ryan shook his head, “No, as far as I know, Brian’s younger than Joel. But whatever they were, Joel needs a minute to cope. And I won’t take that away from him. The few connections beyond professional relationships that you make are those that keep you grounded. I’m lucky; I’m a Double and I have friends. For Joel… This life is all he has, you know?”

“Will he be okay?” Geoff cut in, looking genuinely concerned for a guy that he’d known for only a few minutes. Adam mentally shrugged; Geoff was like that. Caring, protective.

Ryan looked towards where Joel had left the room, “I hope so. We need him to help kill the guys who killed Brian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know..  
> sorry i killed brian  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> ((not changing the tags to character death because reasons...))


	10. Chapter 10

Geoff couldn’t quite wrap his head around what was happening. But it looked like both Burnie and Adam had been in on this whole thing for a while, while Ryan and Joel were possibly the lead contenders for main characters in this whole elaborate game of charades. It wasn’t funny anymore.

Geoff didn’t like it.

“Ryan,” he didn’t know how to start or how to finish the question that was struggling out of him. But he wanted answers. And he wanted them before the blood beneath his nails began to dry out and flake – began to itch and he’d have to scratch – oh god there was blood on his hands.

Geoff thought he was going to be sick.

“Geoff, I don’t know-“

“Don’t fucking say anything,” Geoff snapped, heading for the sink and dumping copious amounts of soap into his hands and started scrubbing. If he was lucky he could get the blood off within the first four washes.

“So what do we do now?” Burnie was asking in the background and Geoff could see Ryan shrugging out of the corner of his eye.

“We let Joel vent, and then we plan. The Manders Gang and the Aussies might have teamed up, but Inner gangs are easy to pick apart. Especially for me now that we know who they are and what they’re trying to do.”

“And what are they trying to do exactly? And who are they?” Geoff asked, dumping another clump of soap into his palms, picking at his cuticles now. He could still see the small specks around the tips of his fingers and it made his corner of his mouth twitch.

“They are the two gangs that have apparently been trying to set Joel up for some kind of lesson. “

“And the bullet? What does that mean?” Geoff asked.

Ryan sighed, “As the note said; it’s the bullet they used to kill Brian. He was one of Joel’s closest friends.”

Geoff turned off the tap and rested his hands against the counter, leaning his weight forward. He glanced at Ryan, noticed how calm he seemed, “Who are you, Ryan?”

“Geoff, I’m still Ryan, but-“

“Bull-fucking-shit,” Geoff growled, not moving an inch.

“I couldn’t put you in danger,” Ryan said tersely, keeping the eyecontact and Geoff refused to be the one to break it. Ryan kept going, “I had a life before Achievement Hunter, before Rooster Teeth. I just made sure no one would ever find out.”

“Ryan,” Geoff ran out of words again. How did he even begin this line of questioning? How would he articulate just exactly how betrayed and hurt he felt? How would he express his confusion and his anger?

Oh, Geoff had an idea.

And Geoff was fucking lucky that Ryan was too concentrated on trying to explain himself to save his face from Geoff’s knuckles. The punch threw Ryan a few steps back, and both his hands came up automatically for some kind of action before he appeared to consciously put them down again, accepting the blow for what it was.

Geoff hated it.

He hated it all.

“You can’t fucking do this, Ryan,” he wanted to shout – he wanted to yell. But he couldn’t. Because Ryan’s eyes were filled with guilt and fear and Geoff couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Ryan rubbed his jaw, “I was like this long before I met you. I can’t change the past.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” Geoff breathed. He wanted throw this man out of his house. To get him as far away from himself and his co-workers, his friends, as humanly possible. Because he was a liar, and he was thief; he’d stolen their trust and he’d played them all. And this was the part that hurt; he’d done it knowingly. He’d put himself in this situation and how he was expecting Geoff to deal with it.

But worst of all was that Geoff was going to do none of those things. Because Ryan was his friend. And he was going to try- he was going to try to understand. And he was going to try to help.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked, because he had to know. He had to start now if the mess was going to get solved anytime soon.

Ryan looked to Adam and then gestured for the doorway, “You better check on him.”

Adam looked almost relieved to be sent away.

Geoff swallowed, “I want to call the others. I want to know that they’re okay.”

Ryan shook his head, “They’re fine. The only thing we can do-“

“How do you know?” Geoff interrupted.

Ryan smiled sadly, “Because I know how this world works. And killing anyone from the office would just be a waste of energy; Joel doesn’t care about anyone from the office. It would have no impact on him, and that’s what all this is about. Breaking Joel down.”

Geoff grimaced at the words.

“And this… this Joel guy, we- I saw him at the office. Is he like you? Is he a liar too?”

This time it was Ryan who grimaced. He licked his lips, “The way Joel and I work are different; I have two lives, Joel only has one. The work is the same, but the method is different. We’re both for hire.”

Geoff’s eye stung, “So you choose this. You actively choose to do this- to live two lives?”

“I… yeah, it’s a long story,” Ryan shrugged helplessly.

It wasn’t good enough.

Geoff was still angry.

He turned to Burnie and he growled, “How long have you known?”

Burnie held his hand up calmly, “I wasn’t involved intentionally-“

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” Geoff interjected angrily, gesturing to his living room. “The only thing I want to know is how long this shit has been going on and why the fuck no one had the decency tell me about it.”

“The less people who knew about it, the better,” Ryan said, an edge to his words. Like it wasn’t the start of an argument, but, oh boy, Geoff really didn’t give a rat’s ass whether Ryan wanted an argument or not. Because he was going to fucking get it.

“So you didn’t think I would help or anything? You thought I was going to-“

“I couldn’t be sure of what you’d do, and that kind of uncertainty gets people killed in this line of work,” Ryan interrupted. “I didn’t think you wouldn’t help if I told you Burnie was being stalked, but I couldn’t involve you in anything without compromising my identity or Joel’s. Naturally I couldn’t compromise Joel, but I would have had to explain it all somehow and then I’d just end up revealing myself. And then I’d have to leave.”

“Why would you leave? I wouldn’t make you leave!” Geoff argued.

“You’re talking like you’d be the one to make that decision,” Ryan said, avoiding Geoff’s eyes for the first time.

“What, you have another boss or something?”

“If my identity was revealed, then it would only be a question of time before people would start to try and hunt me down, and that would bring you into the line of fire. I couldn’t allow that to happen. So we kept everything as secret as we could, to try and deal with it before it got out of hand,” Ryan ran his hands through his hair and over his face, looking tired.

Geoff gestured to the counter where it was obvious something square and bloody had previously been, “Well, you’re doing a great job on that so far.”

Ryan winced, “Yeah… yeah, I know.”

“By the way, why do you think revealing your identity to me would result in outside people hunting you down? You think I’d tell anyone?” Geoff asked, this time trying to reign in the indignation.

Ryan looked momentarily thrown. “I… I guess, you just get paranoid the longer you do what I do. You know that someday – you don’t know when – but someday your cover will break. And I guess I just thought that the sooner I broke the illusion, even if it was to someone I trust, the faster I’d fall.”

“Trust me, Ryan,” Geoff said.

Ryan nodded, “I do. But I still don’t think I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

Geoff sighed, “Yeah, I mean, I guess it’s not your fault it’s escalated the way it has. But I’d still have liked to be in the loop.”

“Is it just me, or is the other room really quiet?” Burnie interrupted, eyes locked on the doorway.

Ryan instantly tensed and pushed past Geoff. Geoff made sure to walk right after, wanting to at least shield Burnie in case there was trouble. Ryan surged forward, “Adam.”

Geoff tried to rationalize the fact that Adam Ellis was unconscious on the floor of his living room, partially hidden behind the couch, but the information just wasn’t really sinking in. Ryan checked for a pulse and checked the man’s breathing, calming down a little. Then they heard an engine growl to life and they looked out the window just in time to see Joel’s car disappear.

“Caboose, you fucking idiot,” Ryan grumbled under his breath, lightly shaking Adam awake.

Adam cleared his throat and coughed several times while regaining consciousness, “Wha- wha- Joel?”

“He choked you out,” Ryan provided tersely, standing up and fishing out his phone.

Geoff knelt down next to Adam, who was leaning against the cough trying to clear his head, “You okay, buddy?”

Adam coughed again, “I don’t- I mean, that was a dick move.”

Geoff snorted, “You could say that again.”

“That idiot is going to get himself killed,” Ryan said, phone to his ear but apparently getting no reply. “Fuck. Adam, did he say anything? Anything about where he was going?” he asked.

“We talked, but I dont- He didn’t say it, but I thinks he wants to check out Brian’s place,” Adam said after considering the situation.

Ryan frowned, “Joel knows where Brian lived?”

“I know it too,” Adam said with a shrug. Ryan’s face lit up at that and Adam took a second to realize what he’d said. “I can take you there,” he began but Ryan shook his head.

“No, I need you to stay here and keep an eye on Burnie. I’ll need Geoff with me,” Ryan said, picking up a block of paper from the desk in the corner and then held out a pen that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. “Can you draw it or write down the address?” he asked.

“You know, I can speak for myself too,” Burnie said, arms crossed. “I can lock myself in the house and turn all the lights off, then all of you can go. I’ll stay in contact over the phone with one of you-“

“I have something better,” Ryan cut in, agreeing to the idea an putting the pen and paper away. He disappeared out to his car for a moment before coming back with a handful of tiny black plastic devices, “These are earpieces; they’re easier to talk over if you don’t have time for phone calls.”

He held out his hand and they picked up one each. Geoff noted that a small light was already flashing on the side of the thing before he stuck it in his ear, hearing a bit static and reverb. Adam put his in, nudging the device a few times to adjust to the unfamiliar sensation. Burnie put it in and winced, “It’s crackling.”

“It’ll stop doing that in a minute. It’s still calibrating. While it does, I’m going to show you how to not get killed,” Ryan said, kneeling down and pulling out a hunting knife from a strap around his shin beneath his jeans.

“Ryan, woah,” Geoff was startled by the sight, and honestly he didn’t like the idea of Burnie with a knife.

Ryan held out the blade, handle first and Burnie took it, clenching and unclenching around the leather experimentally. Ryan pulled Geoff forward and started pointing, “Ideally you want to go after this artery here, or the muscle here, or the joints of the elbows if you’re aiming for upper body. You don’t want to go after the throat; if someone comes here to kill you, they will counter you easily. Go after the less obvious but more vulnerable places. This point, if you cut here, the person will bleed out relatively quick, making the attacker sluggish faster.”

“But what if I freeze up,” Burnie asked, overwhelmed and Geoff couldn’t exactly say he was doing any better. Hearing Ryan talk about shit like this in videos was creepy, but this was plain terrifying.

“Try to go after the armpit if you can. It’s a soft target and a lot of blood-“

“Ryan, what if I freeze up?” Burnie repeated, this time more panicked.

Ryan’s eyes warmed, “If you keep talking to me over the earpiece, I will guide you.”

“You’ll help me kill someone?”

Ryan shook his head, “I’ll help you incapacitate someone. The blood loss is just to make the attacker cease from coming at you. When he’s down, you can keep pressure on whatever cuts you made and keep him alive until we get back.”

“Why… wouldn’t I- I mean, ideally, wouldn’t I want to kill him? I mean, I don’t want to, but isn’t tha-“

“We’ll need to conduct an interrogation if an attacker comes,” Ryan said calmly.

“Sounds like you’re gonna torture them,” Geoff snorted.

Ryan shrugged, “If I can avoid it, I’m not going to torture them.”

“But Joel will, if he gets his hands on a person that might have been responsible for Brian’s death,” Adam said. Ryan didn’t reply, and they all knew that Adam was right. Ryan shook his head, perhaps to clear it, and grabbed Burnie by the arm to lead him towards the bathroom.

Geoff’s bathroom was spacious, but Burnie still looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself, the knife looking horribly out of place in his hands. Ryan grimaced, “Stay in contact. Report if you hear anything, and don’t come out unless I tell you it’s okay. Understood?”

“Yeah. You’ll lock the front door?” Burnie asked, pulling out his phone and turning on the flashlight as Ryan turned off the overhead lights.

Ryan nodded and closed the door.

The remaining three headed back to the kitchen, and Geoff picked up the bag Joel had left behind, “Doesn’t he need his shit?”

“He’s got tools in his car. All that’s in there is probably extra clothes and the paperwork,” Ryan said and led them outside. Geoff unzipped the bag as he walked to check what was actually in it. It looked to be like Ryan had said; paperwork and clothes. Then ahard plastic container bumped against his fingers and he picked it out and flashed it to Ryan. Blue face paint.

“You honestly do stuff like that?” Geoff asked.

Ryan nodded, “In case the mask gets removed somehow. Joel doesn’t often wear the mask, usually just the paint. I wear both, but in black.”

“You actually got the fucking skull mask?” Geoff couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Ryan grinned wryly, “Yeah…”

“You’re un-fucking-believable,” Geoff grunted, heading to the back of the car, motioning for Adam to get in the passenger seat. Ryan took the driver’s seat and a few seconds later, the car sped off in hot pursuit. Geoff still felt useless, out of place, as Adam quietly guided Ryan through the town.

Ryan looked back to him in the rearview mirror, “Geoff, can you still shoot?”

“What, like, a handgun?” Geoff asked, not quite comprehending where this was going.

“There’s a handgun underneath Adam’s seat. Beneath my seat is the magazine,” Ryan informed and Geoff reached down. Based on Geoff’s somewhat extensive knowledge of firearms, it looked to be a Walther P99, probably the standard 9X19 millimeter. Geoff didn’t want to know anymore. “You can shoot?” Ryan repeated.

Geoff loaded the weapon, keeping the safety on, “Yeah, I can shoot. I hope I don’t have to though.”

“That makes two of us,” Ryan said.

“Three,” Adam nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think!  
> come chat; iwouldkillfor.tumblr.com^^


	11. Chapter 11

Joel wasn’t really thinking as he drove. He could feel the handgun against his left ankle and his knife against his right thigh and that was enough. Someone was going to die today, and Joel was going to try his hardest to make that quota rise. It was late at night, most streets in the shady parts of town and that was absolutely fine because Joel was driving past the speed limit and he didn’t want to stab a cop trying to give him a fine. Because Joel was on a tight schedule. Brian could still be alive.

As he neared the cinema he noticed the night sky was reflecting an orange glow. It looked almost like-

Fire.

They were burning down the cinema.

Joel cut through an alley that was barely wide enough to fit his car into. He could hear the paint scrape off the metal on one side, but if he swerved too much the sidemirrors would be torn off. So he just pushed forward and came out on the other side, grinding to a halt in front of the entrance to the cinema. He exited his car and the temperature around him rose, the fire having gotten a strong grip on the rickety building. It seemed to have been burning for a while, but obviously someone was stopping a fire crew from coming. It didn’t matter, Joel was going in. The main entrance seemed to be relatively unscathed, he could enter there-

A car horn interrupted his thoughts and he looked back to see the Vagabond’s car pull up. Fucking shit. He looked back to the cinema and tried to come up with a plan. He had to be quick and thorough. There was evidence in there and he was going to find it.

“Joel!”

Joel ignored Adam; this was more important. He started to sprint, and as the door came closer he shifted and his shoulder broke open the door easily. The flames inside seemed taller, hotter, and he had to put his hands up to try to protect his face.

“Caboose!”

He ignored the Vagabond too. If the man wasn’t going to help, then there was no reason to acknowledge him. Joel looked around. He could spot blood on the wall, and it seemed to have been smeared. At this point Joel didn’t care that it could be a trap. He had to find Brian’s body. He had to see for himself.

The blood led to the office and he kicked the door in. The fire had somehow avoided the room, but it was empty and he could feel his hope diminish, “Brian?”

Of course no one answered. At least not an answer he could hear, the flames roared in his ears and he almost left before spotting another smear of blood on the floor, leading into the supply closet. Of course.

He tried the handle first, and when it didn’t give he tried with his shoulder. It gave a little, the wood creaking. Another push with his shoulder and it cracked open, barely opening before bumping into something. A weak sound reached his ears and he wanted to scream. He pushed, a little more gently and a foot became visible. Joel squeezed through the gap and his breath left him for a brief moment.

Brian.

He went to his knees and checked him over; tape across his mouth, hands and feet tied together and a gunshot wound to the knee, which had been poorly bandaged. He pulled out his knife and started to slice through the rope. Brian didn’t even twitch, and Joel swallowed hard, trying to pretend that the stinging sensation in his eyes was only a reaction to the smoke. He strapped the knife back to his thigh and gently touched Brian’s shoulder, shaking it lightly, “Hey, Brian?”

No reaction.

“Joel?”

“Ryan!” Joel looked up, gathering Brian up in his arms as best as he could. “Ryan, in here!”

An explosion rocked the building, throwing Joel off his balance and he fell, his kneecap cracking against the stone floor. He leaned over Brian as the building began to fall apart, raining dust and debris down on them. He winced, but gathered up Brian in his arms again and went for the door, nudging it open with his foot. Parts of the ceiling had fallen down and Ryan was looking at him, then at Brian, then made his way across the sea of flames, traveling from clear space to clear space.

“Is he alive?”

Joel honestly couldn’t tell. He hadn’t taken Brian’s pulse, and right now he couldn’t feel for any sort of breathing Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead-

“Come on!” Ryan grabbed him by the arm, and they started for the exit. Another explosion and Ryan’s stance widened as he reached out to steady Joel, to make sure Joel wouldn’t drop Brian accidentally. “Let’s go,” Ryan coughed, the smoke starting to get to him, and the heat was making both of them sweat rivers.

They exited the building and the stark contrast of temperatures made Joel do a full body shiver. He could feel his arms seizing up and he quickly knelt down to put Brian on the ground, ripping the tape over Brian’s mouth off in one swift move. No reaction. He spotted Geoff and Adam standing a few feet away, Geoff with a gun in his hands, looking like he knew what he was doing and Joel was definitely getting more information on that later. Adam seemed to be unarmed, but his bulking physique would undoubtedly scare off a few people at least.

“Is he alive?” Ryan asked again, and Joel reached for Brian’s neck, feeling around.

There was a pulse. Weak, but there.

“I have a pulse,” Joel croaked, looking up. Geoff walked over, stuffing the gun into the back of his jeans, almost like he’d done it before, and knelt down next to Joel, looking much more calm and collected than Joel felt.

Geoff checked Brian’s pulse and breathing, Joel watching him closely as he did. He didn’t want to let Brian out of his sight, and even though Geoff was an ally, he was still a stranger in Joel’s head. Geoff looked up, “He’s in a bad way. I can sit in the back with him while one of you drive to somewhere safer.”

Joel was reluctant to leave Brian’s side but nodded. It was the best idea so far, and they needed to get out of here fast.

Ryan licked his lips, “Okay, I’ll clear out the backseat of your car. You’ll drive to your safe house with Geoff and Brian, then guide me over the mic. We’ll meet up there, yeah? Burnie, you’re still good?”

The mic cackled, “I’m good. I haven’t heard anything.”

“Okay, Adam, help me?”

Adam. Joel swallowed a lump in his throat. All this, because Adam and Joel had become friends.

What a fucking friendship.

Geoff sighed beside him, then his eyes widened, body going still. He pushed Joel out of the way as he reached for Brian’s neck, feeling for something Joel just realized he’d lost. His heart sank as Geoff physically shoved him away to put his ear against Brian’s chest, then move his fingers back to Brian’s throat. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit, fuck!”

“What’s happening?” Ryan called.

“I lost his pulse and his breathing’s gone all fucking fucked up,” Geoff called back, voice cracking, then folding his hands in the proper way before starting to do chest compressions. Joel’s head was filled with white noise, having tuned out the roar of the fire behind them he watched Geoff work.

Joel’s world stood still.

Geoff panted, “I can’t. Do. Chest. Compressions. In. The car.”

“Then we stay here until his heart starts again,” Joel said, mind set on doing this.

Ryan clenched his jaw, “Joel…”

There had to be something they could do. It couldn’t be that easy to kill Ninja Brian, it just couldn’t. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t believe it. Geoff continued to work.

“Joel-“

“Shut up!” Joel snapped. He couldn’t take his eyes off Brian’s chest and his fingers found Brian’s wrist, searching for a heartbeat. Nothing happened. Joel looked over to where Adam was standing frozen, still beside the car, watching what was happening-

Wait.

The car.

Joel scrambled to his feet, pushing Adam out of the way and crawled into the backseat of his car, then reached under the passenger seat and pulled out a small leather cylinder. As he marched back he unwrapped the leather, fishing out a large syringe and a small bottle.

“What is that?” Ryan asked, voice wary.

Joel filled the syringe with the clear fluid, then pushed Geoff out of the way, before stabbing the needle directly down into Brian’s heart, emptying it instantly. There was a moment of stunned silence, Joel’s hand still around the syringe.

Brian’s chest heaved and Joel quickly let go of the syringe, and it swung awkwardly as Brian’s body moved. Adam almost screamed and Geoff looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his sockets.

“Adrenalin,” Ryan breathed out, coming to kneel next to Joel.

“Strong shit. Works in a pinch,” Joel said breathlessly, moving into Brian’s field of vision. He put a soft hand on Brian’s chest, “Brian? You with me?”

Brian coughed again, then moaned. “Did someone run me over? My chest’s burning.”

“Yeah, don’t thank me for trying to save your life or anything,” Geoff said loudly, voice cracking again and he leaned back on his hands, watching the retired assassin come back to the world of the living.

“Joel?” Brian turned his head to look and raised a hand.

Joel inched closer and was dealt a sharp swat over the head. Or, well, it would have been sharp had it not been for Wecht’s less than stellar condition. “What the fuck?” Joel rubbed his head anyway, slightly hurt.

“Don’t run into a burning building for a man who’s more likely to be dead than living. Asshole,” Brian grunted, then noticing Ryan and frowning. “And who’re these people you’ve brought? I know your boyfriend. The two others dating or something?”

“I’m Geoff. Pleasure to meet you, I think,” Geoff said, still panting a little, coming down from the rush.

“I’m the Vagabond,” Ryan opted for that reply, seeing as that seemed to be more vital information at this point in time. Brian’s eyes sharpened a little and Ryan nodded, “I’d love to say more, but we gotta get out of here. Burnie’s still waiting.”

“We’ll go to my place. I’ll guide you after you get Burns,” Joel said, gently pulling out the syringe and putting it back into the leather, packing it for later disposal at a more safe place. He moved to help Brian up. Geoff also came to assist on the injured man’s other side, and the pair of them managed to help Brian into a standing position.

“Okay, Geoff, you’re with Joel and Brian. Adam, you’re with me,” Ryan took control of the situation, walking back to his car.

“Joel, they didn’t answer the question. Are the two new guys fucking?” Brian asked and Geoff choked. Brian grinned before turning more somber, “My cinema’s ruined.”

“I’d rather your cinema turning to ashes than you turning to ashes,” Joel said with a shrug.

“You’re still an idiot for trying to get me out,” Brian deadpanned.

“Hey, I-“

“Smoke inhalation is dangerous, you could have died, Joel” Brian continued.

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Joel grunted as they maneuvered Brian into the car. Geoff went in to sit beside Brian, and Joel looked back to the Vagabond. He sighed inwardly at the Vagabond’s look; he was going to get a lecture later. From a fucking Double. Joel rolled his eyes and got into his car.

“How did you scrape your paint?” Brian asked drowsily.

Joel groaned and hit his head against the steering wheel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turns out Brian's fine.. sort of..


	12. Chapter 12

_There was sunlight streaming through the windows, hitting the floor with the expensive carpet, and the mahogany table with the paperweight that looked like it a humongous emerald. Ryan always fixed his eyes on that emerald whenever he was here; he hated looking at the man behind the desk and the rest of the room was pretty nondescript. And nothing stuck out quite like the emerald._

_“You listening, Vagabond?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Ryan was well aware of why he was here. There was a guy starting up a heroin business where he shouldn’t be and Ryan had been chosen as the guy to clear out the warehouse, including employees and cargo. Ryan figured the job would take all night if he had to be stealthy about it, but he figured he could need the money and he honestly wanted the heroin guy gone as much as the next guy._

_“You won’t be working alone on this one. It’s a big warehouse and he’s got about two dozen employees. If you’re going to do this quick and quietly, you’re going to need another pair of hands.”_

_Oh, come on! Ryan sighed, but didn’t complain out loud just yet. He figured he could at least wait until he knew who he was working with before he started complaining._

_The door opened and Ryan turned his head to look. The guy was about his own height, a bit leaner and definitely a Single. Like Ryan, a mask covered the man’s face. It looked like a ceramic mask but it was probably made of something more durable, and it was painted dark blue, with gold around the eyes. Ryan could spot a pair of dark brown eyes watching him as the assassin came closer. He was dressed in a black shirt and a black pair of jeans, and he came to stand at attention beside Ryan._

_“Vagabond, this is Caboose.”_

_They simultaneously turned to one another and Ryan stuck his hand out first._

_They didn’t exchange pleasantries as they shook hands. Their eyes met briefly._

_“Caboose is a sniper, blades, and explosives specialist. I’m sure you’ll get along famously,” their employer said dryly and picked out two files from a drawer in his desk. He handed one to each of them as he spoke, “I expect this to be done no later than 72 hours from now. Damage to the heroin will be docked from both of your paychecks.”_

_That got Ryan’s attention._

_“How fast will the cleanup crew respond?” Caboose asked, and his voice was a little raspy, but somehow still soft. And he also sounded like he hadn’t slept in days._

_“Within half an hour, my men will arrive,” their employer said._

_Caboose nodded._

_“The planning will take place within the walls of this building, and the basement is free for the next two hours,” their employer snapped, looking at both of them with impatience in his gaze. Ryan took this as his cue to step back and bow his head slightly as a goodbye, but Caboose simply gave a half-assed salute and left the room. Ryan quickly followed when the man behind the desk only rolled his eyes._

_“I suggest we go in from the east and pick the perimeter guys off one by one,” Caboose talked as they walked and he had the file open in his hands. “The only thing we really need to decide on is which one gets to snipe and which one gets to stealth. I personally don’t care, so you take your pick and we’ll meet at the crossing just two miles from the warehouse in… what, 8 hours sound good to you?”_

_Ryan blinked a few times, “That- that’s your plan? One on sniper duty and the other sneaks in? Isn’t the guy who’s sneaking a lot more exposed when he breaches?”_

_“Well, I thought the sniper would obviously assist once we’d gained access to the inside, but if you want to stay safe I could be the stealthy one with the knife and you stay on the ridge. We’re keeping radio contact after all, so if shit gets real you could jump in with an automatic or something, I guess,” Caboose said with a shrug._

_“You know, I’m not a rookie.”_

_“Nah, but you’re a two-faced fucker who would bail if shit starts going south ‘cause you have a fucking life or whatever. I’ve researched you; when the old man said I had to hold your hand through this I did my homework,” Caboose snapped, his words getting sharper._

_“Stop fucking treating me like a child, I know what the fuck I’m doing,” he cut in, and emphasized it by grabbing Caboose’s arm, forcing the guy to stop and face him._

_“So… you want to go stealth?”_

_Ryan wanted to punch this guy. He’d barely known him for 10 minutes and he already wanted the guy out of his life. “You’re an asshole, you know that?” he snarled._

_He saw the corners of Caboose’s eyes crinkle, “I’ve been told. I’ll snipe then. Go buckle up, and I’ll meet you at the intersection in 8 hours. Everything you need to know is in the file.” He started walking away._

_“How do you know that?”_

_“Because I’m the one who gathered the intel for it.”_

_Ryan’s vision cuts sharply, like a bad movie, and suddenly he’s leaning against cold metal, blood on his blade and he watches as Caboose downs another goon with scarily accurate aim._

_“That’s the final one, there should be one coming around in 40 seconds, but I’ll take him out when he cuts the corner. Get inside and I’ll be ready to assist in approximately 2 minutes.”_

_Ryan nods and finds the door handle, flashes the keycard and the green light is like a switch in his mind being flipped. He sees more blood, his hands feel warm and sticky, and cold all at the same time. He hears wet noises and panicked noises, but it doesn’t get to him. Then Caboose is next to him, and they’re hiding behind wooden crates. Not the best kind of cover but it would have to do._

_“You go after the powerline to the alarm system. It’s across there, to the left. A bright yellow box. Cut everything and we can finally create some havoc,” Caboose whispers, sounding close to giddy and Ryan swallows one extra time._

_“Do you do this for fun?” he asks._

_“What?”_

_“Killing people. Do you do it for fun?”_

_“I do it because it’s the only thing I’m good at, and it pays well. Now get over your little midlife crisis and cut the fucking alarm,” Caboose growls at him and Ryan is tempted to lash out. But he doesn’t because they’re working together and things are fine._

_He finds the wires and the lights go out as well._

_People start to panic._

_Caboose starts slicing with menace in his eyes, but professionalism driving his body and Ryan stands back and watches as bodies drop. They all drop, they drop-_

_Caboose is in front of him, “Do you care about the heroin?”_

_“What?”_

_“The heroin. Do you care about what happens to it?”_

_Ryan thinks for a moment. The only reason why he’s leaving it alone is because of money reasons but… “I guess not. I have a day job that pays pretty well,” Ryan shrugs and tries to sound casual._

_Caboose snorts out something that resembles a laugh, “Fucking two-faced motherfucker.”_

_He then hands Ryan a detonator with a wire attached._

_It takes a moment, “You want to blow it up?”_

_“No, I strapped C4 to the cargo just for aesthetic reasons. Come on, man, use your fucking brain.”_

_A gunshot went off and Caboose made a pained sound and-_

Ryan slammed up into a sitting position, panting and shaking.

He was in a strange bed- where- oh, right. Cabo- Joel’s safe house.

Geoff stirred next to him in the bed but didn’t wake up.

He swallowed, mouth like a dessert and quietly got out of bed. He just needed a quick glass of water to calm down, and then the straight back to bed.

Joel had driven Brian to the hospital. Or rather; he’d reluctantly dropped him off at a random location, then made a 911 call from a payphone as a remorseful thief who’d unfortunately shot his latest target, and then driven off to the safe house. Brian had reassured Joel that it was okay. Adam had also reassured Joel that it was okay. Joel had apologized to Adam for choking him out.

Then Joel insisted that Geoff be one of the two people who could take the bed. Burnie was given the guest room with the single bed, since Adam said he was fine with the couch. Then Ryan said he’d take the floor because it was still Joel’s house. But Joel had refused, and instead called dibs on the floor. He pulled out a mattress from the attic that was stained with blood and bunked down besides the couch. Ryan was then left to share the big bed with Geoff.

Not that Ryan was complaining or anything.

He poured himself half a glass of water licked his lips.

Things were getting more and more complicated.

He heard footsteps behind him and Adam stepped up beside him and poured himself a glass, “Can’t sleep?”

“Had a pretty vivid dream. Just needed to stretch my legs a bit,” Ryan whispered.

Adam nodded, “Joel’s woken up a few times. I think he’s having vivid dreams too.”

Ryan looked down and put the glass in the sink, “It’ll all be over soon, hopefully. Go get some sleep while you can. Tomorrow is going to be quite the day and Joel’s probably going to need you now that Brian’s out of reach. You’re closer to him than I am, even with our shared past.”

Adam breathed silently for a moment, then reached out with one arm and pulled Ryan close. He didn’t say anything, just held Ryan against him for a few seconds before letting go and padding back to the living room and Ryan could hear the creak of the couch as the big man got settled.

Ryan felt a warm feeling explode in his stomach and he smiled.

He went back to bed and saw that Geoff had hogged the blankets. He climbed in and pulled it slightly, rolling over to face the wall and getting some of the blankets back. Geoff then rolled with the blanket as it moved and Ryan could feel the heat radiating off Geoff’s body.

He almost wanted to cry.

It sounded stupidly naïve, but the people under this roof would be protected. Nothing would harm them as long as Ryan could prevent it. He knew Joel was used to keeping his distance but the façade was cracking. Together they would protect the people they cared about.

Geoff groaned and threw his arm over Ryan’s midsection, pulling just a little and it felt like time froze. Ryan almost didn’t dare to breathe. Then Geoff exhaled deeply, tightening his hold just a little before relaxing again and Ryan knew he was just as fucked as Joel was. They were both in love and but unlike Joel, Ryan knew it would only make him stronger, more determined. Joel would need a bit more time to accept it, but Ryan was confident that he would get there at some point. The Caboose he’d come to know over the course of the past week could accept it.

Everything was going to be okay.

It was going to be okay.

They were going to be okay.

Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> flashback episode, heck yeah!  
> come scream at me on iwouldkillfor.tumblr!

**Author's Note:**

> maybe i'll continue to add short drabbles to this, so stay tuned and please comment if you have ideas!


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